


War and Pies

by Thatswherethelightgetsin



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pies Sketch, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-08 09:56:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12862092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatswherethelightgetsin/pseuds/Thatswherethelightgetsin
Summary: Very loosely based on the Boosh pie sketch.A Russian AU where Howard’s in the army and Vince is a street urchin raised by bears.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, it's the Pies Sketch AU that no one asked for. I've really loved writing this one. 
> 
> As ever, I really have finshed this one. It's going to be posted over the next two weeks. Enjoy.
> 
> You should also go and check out this lovely bit of art for it by @littleredchucks. All of their work is perfect and this is very lovely. Check it out here (and the rest of their stuff) https://littleredchucks.tumblr.com/post/169829683521/agarlandoffreshlycuttears-your-war-and-pies

“Moon!”

Howard jolted forward as a foot made contact with his chair, making him smudge the word he was writing in his notebook. He scowled over his shoulder. “What is it, Fossil?”

“There's something over near the doctor’s place. Might be human, might not be. It's freaking out the locals. I need you to find and kill it.” Fossil was glowering at him, but that was nothing new. That seemed to be his only expression. The cold and isolation of this place seemed to have beaten his face into a permanent expression of dissatisfaction and anger.

“Why me?” Howard asked, not caring, but wanting to fight anyway. He always wanted to fight, it was what landed him here in the first place. Not that he was ever particularly good at it. Not when it counted.

“Because it might be dangerous and no one here cares if you die horribly.” Fossil kicked his chair again. It was a rickety old thing, held together through sheer Russian stubbornness and it gave an alarming creak under him.

He looked down at his half finished poem; maybe it would be better to come back to it later, after he'd had time to think on it some more. The constant howling of the wind was distracting and he hadn't been able to finish one since he’d arrived. He carefully closed the little book and tucked it into his pocket before standing. He brushed by Fossil as he walked to the door, not quite knocking his shoulder as he went. He took a deep breath and placed his hat carefully on his head before opening it. The wind blew by angrily, taking the early morning frozen fog with it past the door. He tensed himself against it as he stepped out, narrowing his eyes to try and stop them watering.

It was an isolated outpost near the Siberian border. Not much more than a collection of low stone buildings; squat and hunched under the endless grey sky. Nothing happened here. Nothing but the winter and death. By bear, cold, hunger or, if you were lucky, roving deserters from whichever army happened to be close by. This station was hell on Earth: a punishment post pure and simple. Only it turned out hell was a frozen wasteland and not hot like the pictures.

He pulled his collar up and walked quickly. It didn't take him long to make his way to the biggest building in town. He nodded to the old woman who sat outside welcoming people into the doctor’s house. People said she was the first and last face people saw around here. She was called for when the doctor was no good to them anymore; for the births and deaths. Howard didn't want to learn her name.

He circled the building slowly, not expecting to find anything. People around here were superstitious. Not that he could blame them, there wasn't much else to fill the hours, and they tended to raise the alarm at the slightest provocation. He paused as the arrived at where the locals threw what little possessions they no longer needed into piles. There was nothing there. He sighed and turned to leave when something caught his attention. He froze, and his head whipped in the direction of the noise, unsure if he'd really heard it.

Then there he heard again: a scratching from behind the rubbish heap. His heart leapt in his chest, images of bears and the corpses they'd left behind flashing into his mind. He scrambled with his musket, pulling it up and toward the noise. It was rusty, given to him when he arrived and, truth be told, he'd never actually fired it. The likelihood was that it would explode and do him more damage than what he was aiming at, but it gave him some comfort anyway.

“Oi!” A voice called from the middle of the heap, followed by a mop of dark hair. “It's rude to point guns at people.”

“Sorry,” he said and dropped the barrel towards the floor, perplexed by the aggressive tone. Then remembered he was meant to be in charge and pulled it back up. “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

“Who are you?” The figure climbed its way out of the rubbish toward him, a frown on its face. It was a child, he realised, and dropped his gun again. It was a skinny thing, all pale with huge blue eyes that were too big for its head.

Howard frowned. The face was all odd angles and he couldn't discern if it was male or female; its tangle of hair and sharp cheekbones suggested girl but its angular jaw and aggressive stance said boy. “I'm Howard Moon,” he said, trying to infuse some command into his voice.

“You're huge!” The child said. “Like papa only a bit less hairy.”

Howard felt strangely pleased with the assessment despite knowing it was mostly his coast giving him his bulk and the fact he'd actually been fed as a child unlike almost all of the people living here. “Some have called me imposing,” he agreed after a moment. Then he remembered again that he'd been sent on a mission and had a job to do. “You can't be here,” he said. “You're scaring people and you'll end up shot.”

The kid shrugged a gangly shoulder at him. “No one’s shot me yet and I been doing this for years.”

Now they were closer Howard realised they might be a bit older than he first suspected but it was hard to pinpoint an age under the dirt and tangled hair. “That doesn't make sense as a defence strategy. You only need to be shot once to be dead.”

They shrugged again. “You in the army?”

Howard drew himself up and nodded.

“My dad were in the army. That's why he had to leave me behind see.” They looked momentarily sad before grinning. “But then I met papa and he raised me so it weren't so bad. I'm Vince.”

So it was a he then. Howard wasn’t sure what to say in response so he just tried to look imposing and stern.

Vince squinted at him for a moment, his eyes narrowing.“What you do that got you sent out here? Only old men and criminals get sent here. You ain’t old, so what you done?”

Howard’s stomach dropped, fear and shame clawing at his throat. He glared back at Vince and tried not to let his fear show. “This papa can't be taking very good care of you if he's letting you root around in rubbish,” he pointed out, both to deflect and because it was true.

Vince was shivering in the cold, which wasn't surprising as he was dressed in rags and his shoes seemed to be mostly made of holes. But if the cold was bothering him, he made no show of it on his face. Instead he grinned hugely. “Nah, this is how the whole family does it. Bears love rubbish.”

Howard blinked at him for a long moment trying to guess what he could have meant that wasn't what he'd actually said. “Bears?”

Vince nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Been living with them for years now.”

“Right,” Howard said slowly, realising he was dealing with a mad person and wondering how quickly he could get away. “You can't stay here,” he said again. Then looked closely at him and felt a pang of guilt. It didn't look like he would survive a night out here. “Where are you sleeping tonight?”

Vince eyed him suspiciously in return. Howard felt himself flush, realising that it probably wouldn't have been the first time a street kid got asked that sort of question from a passing soldier. “It's too cold for you to be outside,” he added sharply, “and it'll end up being my job to bury your corpse come morning and the ground’s frozen.”

Vince’s face seemed to relax and he grinned up at him. “The bears usually let me sleep with them and they’re plenty warm.”

Howard sniffed. “That is what it smells like you do,” he agreed. “So you won't be dead by morning?”

“No, thanks for checking though,” he said.

“Right,” Howard nodded and turned to leave, pulling his coat close around him.

“You don't got any food do you?” Vince burst out suddenly. When Howard turned back he was grinning and blushing a bit. “Don't matter if not. I can get some from the bears. Only I'm a bit bored of fish, is all.”

He should say no. It's not like the rations were plentiful; the army struggled to get much of anything out this far. He put his hand into the pocket of his coat to grip the piece of bread he was saving for later. But then, the kid looked too skinny and his eyes were huge. And hadn't he joined the army because he thought he might be able to help people? He sighed. His soft heart was going to get him into trouble one day. Again.

“Here,” he said, drawing out the bread and offering it.

Vince eyed him for a moment before darting forward and grabbing it out of his hand. “Thanks!” he said, taking a huge bite and chewing around his words. “This is genius!”

He couldn't help the little smile that made his lips twitch as he watched him eat. “You sure you’ve got somewhere to stay? I don't want you dying after you've just eaten the last of my rations.”

Vince’s eyes went even bigger. “This was all your food?” he asked. “You should have said!”

“No,” Howard shook his head. “It's fine. I just… You’ll be okay?”

Vince nodded firmly. “I'm always okay.”

“Right, well,” Howard said feeling oddly reluctant to leave. “Stay out of trouble.”

“Sure thing, Howard, see you around!” Vince did a little salute before heading back around the rubbish pile and disappearing.

Howard watched as he ducked out of sight before turning to head back to the base. He nodded to the old woman as he passed. It was going to be a long night and he was going to be hungry to boot. The encounter had left him feeling caught between troubled and pleased. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt pleased and it made him feel vulnerable.

His room was little more than stone walls and a roof. But he knew better than to complain. He was here to serve out his punishment and if he wasn't good enough to have escaped this fate he would at least be man enough not to complain about it. Besides, he was lucky to have his own room at all. It was the one good thing about there being so few of them out here. Privacy wasn’t normally a commodity one got in the army and he was grateful for it.

He lay on his bunk listening to the howling of the wind. Its endless scream woke him most mornings and lulled him to sleep at night. It was his only real companion. And it would kill him in a moment if he let it. He tried not to draw any conclusions about the state of his life based on that thought.

He should turn these musings into poetry. It wasn't like the bleak landscape and endless toil didn't lend itself to his usual fare. But nothing came when he looked at the empty pages. It was like they were mocking him. He sighed and rolled over. He would try again tomorrow. If Fossil would just leave him alone long enough to think.

\----

Fossil did not leave him alone. He worked Howard relentlessly. It was to be expected, he was the newest of the twenty-five men at the base. Although he wasn't the only one sent there in disgrace, the others had been there long enough to forget their shame. To forget their past lives entirely. His shame still hung on him like a fog.

He was cleaning out the latrines when Fossil stormed in one morning. He kicked the bucket Howard had filled with water, sloshing the contents over the floor and his own boots. “Get out of my base, Moon. I need to coerce women back here and your ugly mug is putting them off.”

Howard walked the stone streets of the little town and tried to think of rhyming couplets to describe how he felt. Nothing came to mind other than a fuzzy sort of blankness. Which did fit the vague numbness he felt when he thought about his life, at least, but it was hard to turn that into poetry. He wondered why other men were able to take their hopelessness and shape it into art. He just turned it inwards to create a gnawing feeling of isolation and sadness.

A shout from up ahead made his head whip up. He picked up his pace and gripped his musket a little tighter in his hand. There was shouting from inside the only general shop in town before a figure came hurtling out and straight into Howard. They collided with a huff of air and the smaller figure fell backwards to land hard on their arse on the frozen street.

“Alright Howard?” Vince grinned up at him.

Howard stared down at him with a jolt of surprise. “What are you-?” His question was cut off by more shouting from inside the shop.

Vince was already scrambling to his feet. “See you, Howard!” he called and took off running down the street.

The owner strode out the shop shortly after, a scowl etched on his face and club in his hand. Howard instinctively moved to block his path. They collided heavily, knocking them both off-balance for a moment. Howard turned to apologise, and continued to do so for slightly too long. Sadly by the time he was finished Vince was nowhere to be seen.

“Thief!” the owner bellowed, gesturing down the street.

“Thief?” Howard repeated, clearly etching a frown across his face.

“I’ve been robbed!” The man gestured and went to move by Howard and down the street.

Howard moved to block him. “You've been robbed?” he asked.

“Yes, that little runt stole bread.” The man gestured angrily again.

“Let me,” Howard said abruptly holding out a placating hand. “I am here to protect the town.” He wasn't sure what made him do it. But the idea of Vince being in proximity to the large bat currently being waved in his face was uncomfortable.

The shop owner glowered for a moment. “I want it apprehended and punished appropriately.”

Howard nodded once, keeping his face stern. “Of course. Please,” he gestured back into the shop. “You have a business to run. Do not let this keep you from it.”

There was only a moment’s hesitation before the man turned and disappeared back inside. Howard paused, ensuring that he was really gone before turning and hurrying down the street. Vince was nowhere to be seen. He took a few more turns and was just beginning to wonder if he would ever find him when a voice to his left said, “Thanks Howard! That was genius!”

He whirled around to face the small side-alley that Vince was emerging from. “What are you doing stealing from hard working people?” he demanded. He stepped forward, crowding Vince back and looming over him. “I thought you said you had plenty of food.”

Vince at least had the common decency to look guilty. “The bears are getting ready to hibernate!” he burst out. “And I can't sleep that long.” He looked down at the floor and kicked at a stray stone before looking back up at Howard, his eyes huge and an incredible shade of blue. Howard stared at them wondering if he'd ever seen that particular shade before. “I'm sorry, Howard! I didn't mean anything by it! I was just hungry.”

Howard deflated. He'd seen people do much worse when they were hungry and scared. He sighed heavily. “It's okay,” he said. “Just, don't do it again. I can't always be there to stop irate shopkeepers beating you senseless. Besides,” he added hastily, realising that sounded like he might actually want to be there, “I could get in trouble for helping you.”

Vince looked suitably chastised. He hung his head and frowned. “I'm sorry, Howard, I didn't mean to get you in trouble.”

“I need you to promise that this won't happen again,” he said, trying to sound authoritative.

There was long pause before Vince nodded once. But there was something a bit shifty about the way he wouldn't meet Howard’s eyes. There was a long silence before it clicked. Howard sighed softly. “Come by the base later tonight and I'll find you something to eat.”

Vince’s eyes shot up, now ridiculous looking in their size. “Really?”

Howard had no idea what he was doing. Fossil would roast him for even letting a civilian near the base, let alone giving one food. “Yes, I can't let a child starve to death.”

“I ain't a child!” Vince squeaked. “I'm nearly 19!”

“What?” Howard gaped at him for a long moment. But then, slowly, he could see it. Vince was skinny and small, but his face and eyes didn't really look like that that of even a young adult. “You're 18?” he asked eventually.

Not much younger than Howard when he'd joined the army. The thought made him sad and he wondered if his time in service had aged him as much as it felt like it had. Vince was an adult by any standard and practically an old man for around here. Clearly he'd misjudged him. Surviving that long out here was not easy. He wondered what he'd had to do to be able to reach adulthood and decided very firmly that he didn't want to know. Whatever it was, it didn't seemed to have broken him like it had everyone else here and that would be enough for Howard.

“Nearly 19!” Vince corrected, glowering a bit at the perceived slight.

“Well,” Howard said, drawing himself up and trying not to smile at the indignation. “In that case, you should have a job!”

Vince frowned at him. “What job should I have?”

“Well,” Howard began before realising he had a point. There was no real work to be had here. Most people that weren't born with a trade or parents generally had three options before they hit 18. Go to prison, die or, if they weren't fortunate enough to do either of those, join the army. “I mean,” he continued eventually “you can at least help me in return for your dinner.”

He supposed that the information that Vince was an adult and therefore not in need of protecting should change something. But, it didn't. He was still going to end up in the ground without some help and Howard didn't like that thought. Someone that was still smiling after nearly 19 years in this place deserved a chance to reach 20.

“Help you?” Vince said grinning suddenly, like the idea was fascinating and fun rather than indentured servitude. “Sure! What do you need?”

“Fossil has me digging trenches in case we're overrun by opposing armies.” Howard gestured back towards the base.

“Which armies?” Vince asked with a little frown but no suggestion that he wasn't agreeing.

He shrugged. “Any. If you help out and don't get into trouble, I’ll make sure you're fed.”

Vince’s eyes were huge and earnest as he nodded along with Howard. “So, am I joining the army then?” he asked.

“No!” Panic rose in his chest at the thought. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “No, there's no need for that. You'll just be my helper. No need for anything official.” He tried to look stern. “And keep out of the way of the other soldiers, they don't need you bothering them.”

Vince was looking at him a bit curiously. The open honesty of the stare made him uncomfortable. There were a lot of answers to the question in his gaze but none of them were appealing. So, he cleared his throat and stood as tall as possible. “Do we have a deal?”

“Course!” Vince said immediately.

“Good,” Howard said. “Meet me by the Doctor’s place in half an hour.” He turned on his heel and walked away without waiting for an answer. He was about to turn the corner when he realised Vince was at his side. “What?”

“How am I meant to know when it's been half an hour?” he asked. He was staring at Howard guilelessly but there was something like mirth sparkling in his eyes.

Howard sighed. “I don't know,” he said. “I can't think of everything. Use some initiative.”

Vince grinned at him. “Alright,” he said, and then clapped Howard on the arm. “Thanks Howard. See you later.”

He stared after him as Vince scurried away. He took a moment to feel pleased with himself, this was something good he could do. He could keep someone alive, perhaps even when the winter arrived, and make his own life a little easier at the same time. He smiled and went to check the time. He fumbled for his watch before realising that it was gone.

****

“Very funny,” he said when Vince sauntered into view around the side of the Doctor’s building what, he assumed, was half an hour later. He held out his hand and Vince just smiled sweetly at him before placing the watch into his hand.

Howard relaxed immediately. When he'd seen it was gone he'd wondered if he'd been taken for a complete fool. It was only a very cheap thing, but he'd bought it before enlisting and he was fond of it. It was his only reminder of his old life. It was also more than enough to get some warm food and perhaps a bed for the night. People were betrayed all the time for less. But he hadn't wanted to believe that of Vince. He'd paced and cursed himself for even caring. But his throat was tight with nerves as the time ticked away.

“So,” Vince said, still grinning at him like he'd just played the best trick ever. “What are we doing then?”

“I could have you hung for that.” Howard felt compelled to point out as he put the watch back on his wrist. He still felt shaken and embarrassed about it. But he felt a bit bad the moment the words were out.

He looked up, expecting to see a scowl; the expression usually turned on him when he snapped at people about the rules. But Vince’s smile didn't falter. “You wouldn't, though,” he said with a shrug.

“You don't know me, sir, I have done much worse.” Howard wasn't sure that was true, but it felt like his honour might be in question.

“Nah,” Vince said. “I can tell. You got that sort of face. I know when someone’s not to be trusted.”

“What's wrong with my face?” he asked, feeling offended and off-centre. Ever since he'd put on the uniform, people had been different with him. It had been another reason to join, to get some respect. He mostly got fear and distrust instead, but most of the other recruits didn't seem to notice the difference.

“Nothing,” Vince said. “It's a nice face. That's the point; a face like that wouldn't have me hung for playing a little game.”

The fact he was right on this occasion didn't make him feel any better. “You can't rely on that!” he snapped. “There are bad men in the army, men that would have you hung for a lot less. You can't just-”

He stopped, unnerved by the grin Vince was giving him. “Alright Howard,” Vince said. “I'll be careful.”

“Well,” he said, feeling self-conscious. “That's… Not that I care, of course, but you should have learned these things. You're a man now.”

“You're just like papa sometimes,” Vince said with a laugh. “He pretends to be mad too. With the other cubs he’ll snarl and wrestle with them but he never hurts them or nothing. Course, he can't do that with me on account of my bones would break. But, he still roars sometimes.”

Howard had forgotten that he was dealing with a crazy person, even if their smile was curiously infectious. He cleared his throat. “Right, well,” he said sternly. “Now you're here and have given me back my property.” He paused to give Vince another cutting look, but he just giggled. “Perhaps we can get on with our work.”

“Okay,” he said and fell into step behind Howard. “You know,” he said, jogging to catch up with his longer strides, “this reminds me of the time the bears agreed to help out the local deer in exchange for food.”

“Bears eat deer, Vince,” Howard couldn't help but point out.

“Nah,” he said. “They mostly get along, on account of once there was a this big war with the wild boar and the deers sided with the bears. Since then they get along alright.”

Howard huffed but didn't have the energy to fight. It seemed churlish to disagree with a crazy person. He looked at him out of the corner of his eye, as Vince continued to prattle on about various animal factions and their relationships. Now he knew that Vince was older, he could see it clearly. It was obvious in the way he carried himself, but there was something about his eyes too. Like he'd seen more than just the few winters of a child. It made him wonder about his past but he suspected he'd just get another load of rubbish about bears if he asked.

They walked around the town as Howard explained his chores. Vince nodded along enthusiastically, stopping only to ask bizarre questions like, “Have you ever seen a real banana?” And “Is it true in cities everyone has a house all to themselves?”

It felt like he should have been annoyed by them. But the day seemed to pass more quickly than normal. By the time he looked up the sky was dark and it was time to head back to the base.

“Come by later and I'll bring you some food,” he said. “Just try to keep out of sight. I'll meet you behind the latrines.”

Vince grinned hugely at him. “Thanks Howard, see you later!”

Howard’s heart seemed to be beating erratically as it came time to eat. He was sure someone would notice he wasn't eating all of his food. It wasn't that what he was doing was wrong exactly. Howard had memorised the handbook (two pages of grubby print) for a Russian soldier and there was nothing in there to prevent what he was doing. But he sensed Fossil would not approve and he needed him on-side if he was ever going to be allowed to leave this hell hole. He carefully took a cloth and wrapped up half of his food. He would be hungry but he could stand to lose a few pounds and Vince was basically a jumble of bones held together with a sunny disposition. He looked around to check he hadn't been seen. But no one was looking at him. He let out a breath and stood and leave the room.

He walked as slowly and inconspicuously as he could to their meeting place. “Vince?” he hissed when he was close enough.

“Alright Howard?” he asked.

Howard jumped as Vince appeared at his side but he tried to cover it by whirling around and glaring. “Keep your voice down!” he said.

“Sorry,” Vince answered in an exaggerated whisper.

“Here you go,” he said, taking the food from his pocket and shoving it at him.

Vince stared down at the food in his hands and then back up at Howard. His eyes were huge and Howard thought he could see the blue of them even in the dark. He looked stunned and then when he looked up at Howard, a bit awed. “Thank you, Howard,” he whispered. “No one has ever given me their food before.” Howard couldn't believe that was true. Surely anyone on the receiving end of that grin would have done the same. Some of his incredulity must have shown in his face because Vince continued. “I mean, not without wanting something back.”

Howard frowned, wondering again what might have happened to him in the years before they met. He didn't ask. He wasn't sure what he'd do with the answer. “Well, I expect a day’s work out of you,” he pointed out.

Vince grinned up at him. “Yeah, I don't mind that; helping you is well fun.”

He could feel his face wanting to smile. So he cleared his throat. “Goodnight, Vince,” he said softly. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Night Howard!”

He could feel his own reluctance to leave. Vince was the only person to have shown him any real warmth since he arrived. But he might be missed if he stayed too long. He balled his fists and turned on his heel and left.

He thought of Vince's pleased expression as he lay in his bed later that night and felt proud. An almost alien feeling. It made his room feel warmer and even the bunk less like a rock. He slept.

Vince didn't talk any less the next day when they met. Nor the one after. After the second day Howard realised that he didn't even need to really listen. Vince seemed happy to continue to chatter whether or not he got a response. But the sound of his voice helped Howard’s mind drift while they worked. He found himself thinking of poems as they churned through his duties and walked the stone streets together. At the end of the fourth day he opened his book and wrote a whole poem. It seemed to have dropped fully formed into his head. It was about an endless blue ocean and being at peace after untold hardship. He had no idea where the thought came from, but it was a nice image.

Occasionally he'd ask Vince for stories about his childhood and get a load of nonsense back. It should have been annoying. It would have made him furious from anyone else. But there was something charming about Vince’s stories, about the way he painted pictures with his words. Sometimes Howard would suggest additions, at first to mock the silliness of the situation. But Vince had just laughed with delight and agreed, building on his suggestion. After that it was a sort of game between them. It took him away from the town and its low grey stone and endless days of drudgery to somewhere colourful and happy. It was nice.

He was hungry, but that seemed a small price to pay for seeing Vince grin at him with delight every time he handed over the small bundle of food and having someone to talk to.

He was almost happy.

So of course it all went to shit the next day.

\----

Howard took his plate when he reached the front of the que in the mess. Being the newest meant he was always last to get the rations. He barely looked up before making his way to an empty table and sitting down. He looked down at his dinner for a moment before glaring at it in confusion. “What's this?” he asked, gesturing at the food in front of him as Fossil walked by with his own tray.

“Dinner, you little titbox,” Fossil snapped, kicking his chair and making it creak.

“Where's the rest of it?” He looked around, suspecting another round of Let’s Abuse Howard was being played, but all the plates looked equally empty.

“Supply chain’s down,” Fossil barked. “We're going to have to make do with less until it's back up and running. Could be a few days, could be weeks. So get used to it, you measly worms. And no complaining! I didn't come all the way out here to listen to you lot bitch and moan for Mommy.”

Howard turned back to his plate, his heart beating hard in his chest. This wasn't enough food. Not even really enough for him. He thought about Vince, waiting patiently for him outside the barracks and his heart sank. And it wasn't just for tonight either. It could be weeks. What were they going to do? He ate a few mouthfuls of food, but his stomach was churning unhappily and he felt sick. Vince was relying on him and he'd let him down.

He walked slowly to their meeting place, feeling hunched over with shame and worry.

“Alright Howard?” Vince greeted him with his usual grin. He was all wrapped up in the cloak Howard had given him the day before, only his face showing. He looked like one of the women that tried to sell flowers around town. Usually it would have made him smile but today it made him want to lie down and never get back up.

He'd only given it to him in response to his continued shivering but insistence that he wasn't cold. Besides, Howard never wore the thing anyway. His coat was warmer and more practical. He had thrown it around Vince’s shoulders, complaining that his constant shivering was distracting. But Vince had touched the fabric gently, his eyes wide with shock and looked up at Howard.

“Thanks!” he beamed suddenly. “This is the best present I've ever got!” He swirled around on the spot, making the fabric fan out behind him and Howard had the sudden urge to giggle. He pushed it down and snapped at him to get back to work instead. But he'd seen the way Vince would stop sometimes for the rest of the day to touch the fabric lightly, as though checking it was still there. It made Howard's chest tight with some unknown emotion.

As he looked at him now, his throat was tight and couldn't seem to form any words, so instead he held out his offering.

Vince’s face fell as he looked at it. “Where's the rest?” It sounded like he was trying to sound lighthearted but couldn't quite manage it.

“I'm sorry,” he said, around the lump in his throat. “They cut our rations, something about the supply chain. That's all I could get.”

Vince’s whole face locked up, like he was trying to stop any emotion showing. Somehow that was worse than seeing the disappointment. “Oh, for how long?” he asked, not looking at Howard.

He shook his head even though Vince couldn't see it. “I don't know,” his voice sounded weak even to his own ears. “But… It could be months, too long for-” He cut himself off before he painted an unnecessary picture of what would happen.

“Oh,” Vince said slowly, looking down at the food in his hand.

“I'm sorry,” he said.

He'd expected disbelief or anger. Maybe even tears. Instead Vince smiled at him, a fragile thing, but clinging on. “That's okay, Howard, it ain’t your fault. I'll be alright, I can just find something else. Maybe the bears left something or I could talk to the deer.”

Howard thought for a giddy moment he was going to well up. He pushed down hard on the impulse. “I'll think of something,” he stuttered. “Don't worry. I can… I'll think of something.”

Vince’s eyes snapped up to him from where they'd been gazing mournfully at the bread. “Course you will!” he said, suddenly smiling brilliantly at him. Like he actually meant it. “You're the smartest person I know!”

Howard wanted to point out he was the only person Vince knew but it wouldn't do any good. It wouldn't change their situation. “I’d better get back,” he said instead of apologising again like he wanted to. “Fossil is even worse than normal and I'll be missed.”

“Okay,” Vince nodded solemnly, his big eyes watching him closely. Then, without warning, he leapt forward and threw his arms around Howard's neck. “It's going to be okay, Howard, I promise. You’ll think of something, I know you will. Don't be worried.”

He pulled back sharply. “Don't touch me,” he snapped, not sure why but feeling exposed. “I'll see you tomorrow and stay out of sight.”

He turned on his heel and marched away. His boots sounded heavier than normal as he made his way back to the base as fast as he could.

He needed another way of getting food, he thought as he lay in his bunk, staring blankly at the ceiling. There was no way they'd both make it through when the winter arrived with his current rations. It would have been hard before, but manageable as long as neither of them got sick. But now, he sighed and ran a hand over his face...

He needed a plan or one or other of them was going to die. He swallowed down the feeling of panic and rolled over. There were only a couple of places in town that had food.

He grimaced at the idea forming slowly in his head.

It was risky and would no doubt end in humiliation for him. But Vince's face flashed into his mind, bravely trying to smile around his obvious fear. He balled his hands into fists. He'd have to try. And he would. Tomorrow.

 

TBC

 


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How do you know how to light a fire?” 
> 
> Vince shrugged. “I was taught by a travelling band of actors one year,” he said.
> 
> He was never sure how much of what Vince said was a joke, an outright lie, or the truth. Instead of asking, he tutted at him. “You should be careful who you spend your time with, little man. Everyone knows actors can’t be trusted; they lie for a living.”
> 
> “Yeah,” Vince agreed. “It was amazing. They taught me that trick with your watch too. I was the one that got the money out of the audience’s pockets during the show.” 
> 
> “You were lucky you weren’t caught and hung,” he pointed out, his voice hard from concern. The thought was uncomfortable. Vince didn’t belong in a world like that.

He snuck out of the base before the sun was up and made his way across town. He hadn't slept and his eyes felt gritty with exhaustion. The grey sky was just starting to lighten, he could begin to make out the outlines of the houses and shops as he passed. He paused outside the middle building on the street, listening. He could hear movement inside just above the wind and his own breathing and forced himself to knock.

 

There was a long pause before the door opened. The woman on the other side looked at him for a moment before a slow smile spread across her face. “Why, hello,” she said, drawing out the syllables far longer than was normal, almost into a purr. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” She stepped back to allow Howard inside.

 

It was warm outside and he could already smell baking. Eleanor owned the only bakery in the town. What food there was came to her and was made almost edible before being sold on to the few people that could actually afford it. She was an older woman, her face starting to crease with age. Her dark hair framed her face under her shawl. She looked vaguely familiar but Howard was never able to place why that was. Her gaze was dark and a bit hungry as she eyed Howard with a grin.

 

“I need you to give me a pie,” he said before he could stop himself.

 

“I don't open until six, you'll have to come back then.” She was smiling, her eyes suggesting she was about to laugh at him. “Unless there's some particular way you'd like to pass the time until then?”

 

He felt himself blush and he shifted uncomfortably. She'd always made him feel a bit embarrassed. It was like she could sense how little he liked her flirting and so became more and more outrageous with every encounter. He cleared his throat. “I don't want to buy it,” he said. “But you're going to give me the leftovers everyday, just one pie will be fine.”

 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “What do I get out of this, dear?” she asked, her eyes tracking over his body in a way that made him wish he had a few more coats to put on.

 

“I can do odd jobs around the place,” he said firmly. The roof was leaking, he'd noticed that often enough on his rounds with Vince. And, if that were the case, there were bound to be other things that would need doing. “After my other duties, I'll come here and help out in return for the pie. My only condition is that no one must know.”

 

Her eyes were curious but she had a studied expression of indifference on her face. He balled his hands tightly and willed himself to stand firm and not fidget. “There are plenty of men that would help little old me out, if I needed,” she said eventually. Then she walked over to him, placing each step down firmly on the floor so her heels clicked. “Why would I let you do it?” She paused when she was right in front of him and ran a finger down the front of his coat and toyed with the buttons before looking up at him through her lashes.

 

“Yes,” he admitted, and took a pointed step back from her. “But they'd not only want in your bed but also to have this shop away from you. Then who would stop them from chucking you out into the winter?”

 

Eleanor’s face closed up abruptly. She knew he was right, there was a very clear reason she hadn't remarried, despite not being able to properly run the place herself. There was no way she'd be bearing any children at her age and that made her position precarious.

 

“I don't want anything from you,” he said, hoping he sounded sincere. “I just need some extra rations and in exchange I'll do some odd jobs. It's a simple business transaction.”

 

She watched him closely for a moment before arching an eyebrow. “And _what_ do you need them for? You're a _strapping_ man, but not that strapping.”

 

“That, madam,” he said, drawing himself up, “is none of your concern. Do we have a deal?”

 

She seemed to consider him for a long moment before she nodded, just once. “Okay, we have a deal.” She stepped forward again. “Now, how about a kiss to seal it?”

 

Howard sighed. This was going to be a nightmare.

 

\-----

 

He walked back to base feeling lighter at having found a solution. The idea of having to see Eleanor everyday was not appealing but the having warm food in return was. Fossil would go crazy if he found out, so he was going to need a good reason to leave the base every night.

 

He didn't tell Vince about the deal. The idea of him knowing the lengths he would go for him made him feel vulnerable. It probably wasn't normal to feel so responsible for a friend you'd only known a few weeks. But Howard did feel responsible. It had finally felt like he was doing something good, something that mattered, even if it was to only one person. That didn't mean he wasn't acutely aware that it was also a weakness, one that could be exploited by the vast majority of people in the town. So it made sense to keep it secret, even from one half of the people involved.

 

He thought over how best to make his escape over the day. Thankfully Vince seemed content to let him be for once, perhaps thinking his quiet was due to their predicament with the rations.

 

Just before they parted at the end of their day, Vince paused and looked up at Howard earnestly. “It's going to be okay, Howard,” he said softly. “We’ll figure it out.”

 

Howard nodded, his chest a bit tight at the look of conviction the other man was sending him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen that expression directed at him before. “Don't worry, little man,” he said, hoping he sounded more sure than he felt. “I'm working on something.”

 

“Yeah?” Vince’s face broke into a huge smile. “I knew it!”

 

“Well,” Howard added, hurriedly, “it's not certain, but meet me later and I’ll see what I can do.”

 

Vince just kept grinning at him, like he thought Howard had already given him the food. It made him feel nervous rather and reassured. He kept his hands balled into fists on the walk back to base. There was no way to back out of the deal now, but he still had no idea of how to sneak out.

 

As it turned out, his fears proved unnecessary as soon as he got back. He looked around the mess.

 

“Where’s Fossil?” he asked.

 

“Busy,” Kodiak grunted. “What stupid thing you done now, boy?”

 

Howard tried to stand tall and glare. The other man had always made Howard feel a little uneasy. He was grizzled and scars covered most of the skin visible under his uniform. His face was scrunched into a permanent scowl, beaten by more than his fair share of winters. But if he'd survived this long out here he was not someone to be trifled with. The Russian army was dotted with men like him, wizened and shrunken into hardened husks. You didn't live that long without being willing to do any number of unspeakable things. Their survival instinct was not something you tested. He suspected his own glare wasn't very intimidating as the other man just held his eye with a bored look and spat onto the floor.

 

“I need to head out this evening-” he began.

 

“Finally got a woman to lie under you for thirty seconds, eh?” Kodiak leered at him.

 

“That is none of your business, sir,” Howard stuttered, hoping he wasn't blushing too obviously.

 

“You can tell old Jack.” Kodiak held his gaze longer than Howard could stand and he dropped his eyes to the floor. The old man laughed, a hacking, unpleasant sound. “Get out of here, Moon,” he spat. “Maybe a rutting will finally shake loose that stick from up your arse.”

 

Howard didn't have any response to that, so he ducked back out of the door and hurried across town. Eleanor was no less outrageous in her flirting when he arrived. But she left him mostly unmolested as he clambered up ladders and carried wood. He stayed for a couple of hours, before he realised the scale of the disrepair of the bakery. He wondered how long it had been since someone was able to spend time on the building. Eleanor herself hardly stopped from the moment he arrived, tidying and preparing the food for the next day. He felt a pang of sympathy for her, all alone and fighting a losing battle with a building that seemed determined to fall down around her. He wondered how long she'd be able to hold out against the people that would already be plotting to take over her shop.

 

He didn't ask any of the questions he had; he didn't have the luxury of getting involved. Vince was already more involved than he planned to be in the town. Keep his head down. Do his time. Get out. That was his plan and it was already unraveling. He didn't have room for more complications.

 

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said, climbing down the ladder and rubbing his hands on his trousers.

 

Eleanor smiled up at him, amusement dancing in her eyes. “You don't want to stay?” she asked. “It's cold in those barracks.”

 

Howard stepped back, knocking into the ladder and making it rattle. He felt flustered and annoyed that he was flustered. “I'll thank you just to give me my pie, madam, and leave out the rest of your chatter,” he said, trying to sound authoritative.

 

She laughed, a surprisingly girlish sound. “You are a tease, Howard,” she purred, placing a hand on his chest. “But you do good work. I’ll get you some food.”

 

Howard let out a breath. There had been a lingering part of him that thought she would renege on their deal. He shifted from foot to foot as he waited for her, wondering what Vince would say when he handed over the food.

 

“Tomorrow?” she asked when she returned, stepping into his personal space.

 

There wasn't anywhere for him to go, so he froze, locking his body and taking the parcel from her hands. “Yes, madam,” he nodded.

 

“Good,” she said, finally stepping back.

 

He let out of breath and walked around her, tucking the wrapped pie into the pocket of his coat as he went. He hurried out of the building, not wanting to be seen nearby, and made his way back to the base. He would just be back for dinner, meaning he could divide his rations and the extra before meeting Vince. The elation he felt at finally something going right helped elevate the tiredness creeping over his frame.

 

Fossil was nowhere to be found when he got back, thankfully, and he hurried to the mess to join the others. There was a strange atmosphere at dinner, which he put down to the lack of supplies, but didn’t ask questions. He’d learnt quickly that he never liked the answers. He carefully siphoned off some of his food before jumping to his feet and hurrying to meet Vince.

 

“Alright, Howard,” he said, appearing out of the shadows as Howard approached their meeting place.

 

“Good evening. I have something for you,” he said, his heart racing with excitement and pride. Vince smiled up at him and Howard fumbled in his pockets before pulling out the remaining half of the pie and rations. “This should be a little more filling.”

 

Vince carefully unwrapped the parcel and then stared at it for a long time, not moving. Howard had never seen him go so unnaturally still before and he started to feel a bit nervous. When the other man continued not to speak, he forced out some words. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you hungry?”

 

Then, before he could react, he was engulfed in a tangle of limbs. “Thank you, Howard,” Vince mumbled into his chest. “I’ve never even had a pie before.”

 

Howard froze at the contact. He did not like people touching him, he never really had, having learned from an early age that it was often painful or an act of manipulation. “Don’t touch me,” he snapped, without thinking and wriggled out of the embrace. He felt the wind a bit more sharply as he did. 

 

“Sorry,” Vince said, dropping his hands.

 

Howard had the strange urge to apologise for snapping, but shoved it down. Men didn’t hug each other. They hardly needed the comfort of it after all and it wouldn’t do for Vince to get even more attached to him than he already was.

 

“Don't eat it all at once,” he said, his voice sounding oddly brittle. “You should save some for breakfast.”

 

Vince nodded solemnly. “Thanks Howard.”

 

He nodded and turned to leave, feeling flustered but unsure why or how to deal with it.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Vince asked after him.

 

He paused, but didn't turn around. “Yes,” he said. “See you tomorrow, Vince.”

 

He hurried back to his bunk and attempted sleep. But it wouldn’t come. He often found himself lying awake as the night slowly ticked by, his mind and body exhausted, but somehow unable to find sleep. This time, as he lay in his too narrow cot, his mind wandered to Vince. To his pleased expression and big, blue eyes. He tried to dismiss the thoughts but they kept appearing like phantoms. He wondered what it meant. He knew, down to his bones, that it whatever it was, it wasn't good. Nothing good ever happened to Howard Moon.

 

\-----

 

Things settled into a somewhat steady rhythm. Howard managed to juggle his day and evening duties without seemingly raising suspicion within the base. A few of the other men made comments about him finally ‘becoming a man’ and he didn't correct them. It was easier than finding another excuse and it kept the others from that particular form of mockery.

 

Vince continued to shadow him through the day. He talked endlessly. Howard found it soothing. It was mostly nonsense, of course, but there was something sweetly naive about it. Something about the pattern of the words made it pleasant to listen to, rather than grating like when other people would chatter at him.

 

One morning Howard picked up on a stream of consciousness Vince was spouting and set it to a tune. Nothing fancy, more about the rhythm of the words, than anything. It was nothing much, just a trick he’d learned from his mother when he was young. She’d turn a commentary on her chores into songs and Howard would join in. But Vince was delighted. He joined in immediately, suggesting the next line and they fell into an easy trading of words that formed a nonsense song.

 

Howard felt flushed with pleasure when they were done, akin to writing a poem, only better. His chest felt full of warmth and he grinned down at Vince, who was smiling brilliantly up at him. He’d forgotten how it felt to create something with another person, the rush of accomplishment and camaraderie was thrilling. But it had never been like that before, never so easy and natural. The words seemed to flow out of them as though they were one person. He couldn’t remember feeling so connected to someone before.

 

“That was amazing, Howard!” Vince breathed, then quickly looked away. His cheeks were more rosy than before and he scuffed his foot over the dirt. “I didn’t know you could do that. Can you play any instruments?”

 

“My mother had a little guitar for awhile,” he said with a shrug, feeling wistful for reasons he couldn’t identify. It was a gift from a customer and they’d had to sell it after only a couple of months, but not before his mother had taught him how to play.

 

“I bet you were really good,” Vince said.

 

He was always saying things like that. It made Howard want to stand taller, to somehow make the words true. “You should get on with some work,” he snapped instead of admitting that he wasn’t or that he’d wished that he could have been. Or that, maybe, with some more time he _would_ have been. He wasn’t sure which was worse.

 

Vince didn’t seem bothered by his harsh tone - he never did - he just shrugged and went back to fixing the fence that ran around the perimeter of the base. It was a flimsy barrier, barbed wire tied to some frozen posts, but he supposed it was better than nothing and at least marked where the base started and ended to the locals. Vince had surprisingly dexterous hands, his fingers were short and little stubby, but he managed to work the wire neatly and efficiently. He watched him, fascinated for a few moments before blinking and looking away.

 

He tried to continue with his work but he'd realised how cold he was. That was usually a turning point in the day. He tried to deny it as long as possible but there was no getting away from it. They were practically in Siberia so it was to be expected, he supposed, but once he'd admitted it to himself there was never any going back and he was cold for the rest of the day. He sighed and stamped his feet, trying to get some feeling back into them.

 

“Alright Howard?” Vince asked, frowning over at him.

 

“I’m fine,” he snapped, hating that some of his discomfort must have shown.

 

“You look cold,” Vince said.

 

“I’m fine,” Howard replied, trying to make it sound definitive. “I can cope with a little cold. I’m a man of action, part of the greatest army that has ever been. A little cold weather is of no concern.”

 

Most people rolled their eyes when he said things like that. They pointed out that the army was in ruins and tended to lose more battles than they won, often before they even reached them. Vince just grinned at him, amusement in his eyes, but he didn't actually say any of that. He simply shrugged his shoulders.

 

“You look like you’re shivering.” He was smiling at Howard, which, while giving the impression he was mocking him, it wasn’t the cold disdain he was used to. There was concern and even something like affection under it. Like he thought Howard’s pretence that it wasn’t cold was endearing rather than pathetic.

 

It made him uncomfortable, but it stopped him from outright putting an end to the conversation. “I don’t shiver,” he said, trying to pull his coat further around himself and shoving his hands into his pockets.

 

“I can make us a fire for when we have our break,” Vince said casually.

 

His eyes snapped to the other man. Howard had always been terrible at lighting fires, his attempts smoldered uselessly before fizzling out. He looked at Vince, letting the skepticism he felt show clearly on his face. “How do you know how to light a fire?”

 

Vince shrugged. “I was taught by a travelling band of actors one year,” he said.

 

He was never sure how much of what Vince said was a joke, an outright lie, or the truth. Instead of asking, he tutted at him. “You should be careful who you spend your time with, little man. Everyone knows actors can’t be trusted; they lie for a living.”

 

“Yeah,” Vince agreed. “It was amazing. They taught me that trick with your watch too. I was the one that got the money out of the audience’s pockets during the show.”

 

“You were lucky you weren’t caught and hung,” he pointed out, his voice hard from concern. The thought was uncomfortable. Vince didn’t belong in a world like that.

 

Vince rolled his eyes. “I’m too fast for that,” he said.

 

“How come you didn’t leave with them? If you were that good, surely they’d have taken you and you could have got out of this hellscape and had a roof over your head and food.”

 

“I didn’t really like taking money from the old people,” he said, looking away. “From the rich folks that wouldn’t miss it…” he shrugged. “But, some of them people saved to be able to come to the show and if I took stuff from them they might not be able to eat. They didn’t like that, so they threw me out of the troop a couple of towns over. I had to walk back by myself.”

 

Howard’s chest felt tight. Maybe he was coming down with a cold. He wasn’t sure what to say. “You should get on with that fire,” he said eventually. “I’ll finish this off.”

 

Vince grinned at him hugely and scampered off. He didn’t really expect anything to materialise but when he turned around from the fence, Vince was bent over a merrily crackling fire. They sat next to it for as long as he dared: there was always the chance that Fossil would come looking for him and if he was slacking off there would be hell to pay. But he was almost able to feel his hands by the time they were done.

 

\-----

 

A few days later Vince handed him a woollen bundle. “What’s this?” he asked, staring down at it in confusion.

 

Vince looked away and shrugged his shoulders, pulling his cloak around himself. “The other day when we was making up that song,” he started, his cheeks rosey, “you said your socks had holes in ‘em.”

 

Howard unrolled the bundle to find a pair of socks. They looked like they might almost be new, perhaps only worn by one person. “Where did you get these?”

 

“I didn’t steal them!” Vince said, his eyes wide. “Old Mrs Gideon said I could have them since her husband was dead and all… He only had two pairs and I got the other one. So, now we’ll match!” He seemed delighted by the prospect.

 

“Sock brothers,” Howard agreed, not sure what else to say.

 

“Sock twins!” Vince supplied. “And that means they always know where the other one is, like with any twins, so if you’re ever lost I can find you.”

 

There was so much in that sentence that Howard wasn’t sure what to do with it. So, he ignored it. “Why did she give you her dead husband’s socks? She could have sold them.”

 

“She’s always liked me,” Vince said. “She reckoned I look a bit like her son, before he went off to die in that war…”

 

Everyone in town seemed to have some sort of tragic backstory waiting in the wings to bring down the mood of any polite conversation. It was partly why Howard never talked to the people in town if he could help it. “Well, that’s very kind of her,” he said. “You be sure to thank her when you next see her.”

 

“She’s dead,” Vince said after another pause. “She died last week. I didn’t take them before because she might have needed them…”

 

Howard’s stomach dropped. “I’m sorry Vince,” he said. “I didn’t know.”

 

“It’s okay,” he said. “She was real old, but she was always nice to me.” He looked at the ground before speaking again. “The army took over her house.”

 

He balled his fists. Of course, no tragedy was complete without the army being sure to make it slightly worse. He’d wondered where Fossil had been, he vaguely remembered talk of him moving to new accommodation. He didn’t realise there had even been a death in the town. He’d been so wrapped up in his new routine that he hadn't been around the base to pick up on the normal gossip.

 

“You should have said,” Howard said slowly. “I would have come with you to the funeral.”

 

Vince shrugged and scuffed his shoe at the ground. “There weren’t one,” he muttered. “They just burned her body out back and took her house.”

 

Howard felt sick. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know…” Not that he would have done anything, of course. He was too weak to stop injustices from occurring but he could have at least been there for Vince.

 

“I know that, Howard,” he said. “I just feel bad for her is all. She was kind and she always looked out for me, when she could. At least I got the socks, though.”

 

“We should have a funeral for her,” he found himself saying. “We can have a little ceremony and make a cross for her.”

 

Vince looked up at him, eyes big. “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Howard said, feeling guilty on behalf of the rest of the Russian army and not at all liking the sad expression on Vince’s face. “If you want to.”

 

“Thanks Howard!” Vince said. “She would have liked that, although she always said she didn’t believe in God. Not with the way things are out here.”

 

“Smart lady,” he said. “Well, maybe we can just make her a little marker in the garden with her name carved on it. If you find some wood, we can use my knife.”

 

“Genius!” Vince exclaimed, already turning around to scamper away.

 

They snuck into her small garden later that day. It seemed deserted, but Howard made sure they didn’t linger. Vince bowed his head and said a few words about how kind the old woman had been. Howard stood silently at his side until he was done speaking, before stepping forward and placing the carved post they'd found into the ground. They placed it where a fire had clearly been a few days before.

 

They stood in silence for a long time, until Vince reached out and took Howard’s hand in his own. He wanted to pull back immediately. He’d hadn't held someone’s hand since his mother had died. But, Vince so rarely looked sad he couldn’t begrudge the comfort.

 

“Thank you, Howard,” Vince said again as they left the garden. “She would have liked you.”

 

“You’re welcome,” he said, meaning it. “I’m sure I would have liked her too.”

 

\-----

 

He noticed it slowly, like a creeping fog that you didn’t see until it engulfed you and you found you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. Vince was paler than normal, and his shoulders were beginning to be permanently hunched. He continued his endless stream of chatter, but when he thought Howard wasn’t looking, he slumped forward and there were dark smudges under his eyes.

 

“Vince,” he said one day, uncertain how to ask what was wrong.

 

Vince shot up straight from where he’d been slumped against a wall with his eyes closed. “Alright, Howard?” he said, a sunny smile already firmly in place.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” He hadn’t meant it to sound like an accusation, but he didn’t like the way Vince didn’t seem himself. It made worry fill his chest, images of his mother before the end filling his head. It made his temper short and voice cold.

 

“Nothing,” Vince said, picking up his spade to get back to digging the endless trenches that Fossil insisted on.

 

Howard knew it was a lie, Vince was an open book, his emotions playing across his pointed face as clearly as any story Howard had ever read. “You’ve hardly made any progress this morning,” he pointed out. He didn't mean to sound like that was the primary cause of the question, but he didn’t know how else to phrase it.

 

“Sorry!” Vince said, sounding a bit panicked. “I can make up the difference and stay later.”

 

He let out a slow breath. “I didn’t mean…” he started but that didn't seem right. “You can’t let your work slip,” he tried again because it was true and he wasn’t sure why else he might feel quite so concerned. “What’s happening?”

 

Vince deflated. “I just ain't been sleeping is all.”

 

“Why?” he snapped. “Sleep is very important. You won’t be able to do a good day’s work without it.” At least, that’s what he’d always been told. But sleep had always been elusive for Howard. Perhaps that was why he’d never been able to achieve any of the great deeds he imagined he would.

 

“Yeah,” Vince said to the ground, “I can’t help it.”

 

“What’s happened?” He tried to catch Vince’s eye, but the other man was staring pointedly at the ground.

 

“Well, after Mrs Gideon died I was sleeping in them abandoned buildings across town. But they boarded them up and then I tried to sleep in them barns on the old farm but they chased me off.” He was talking quickly, his eyes darting about, his whole posture radiating worry and upset.

 

“Where are you sleeping, then?” His voice sounded sharp again, he was suddenly starting to feel almost panicked.

 

Vince shrugged. “I ain't, really, I been walking around because I seen what happens to people that sleep outside on the ground; they don’t wake up and…” He trailed off and shrugged again. “But, don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.”

 

Howard sighed. Vince was right, it wasn’t even really cold yet. The wind was biting and ground mostly frozen but it would get worse and then Vince would be dead.

 

“You seem to be trying to kill yourself,” Howard huffed. “How did you survive this long?”

 

Vince ducked his head and played with the spade in his hand, half-heartedly nudging the ground. “I don't know, something always comes up in the end.”

 

Howard felt immediately guilty for snapping. “Well,” he said automatically, “you’ll have to stay at the base”

 

“What?” Vince’s head shot up.

 

It was yet another stupid idea, but he was in far too deep to back out now. Besides, he was sure that he could find somewhere to stash Vince for the night. There were so few of them left there, especially with Fossil gone, there would be plenty of odd nooks and crannies. “I think we could find a way to sneak you in as long as you’re quiet. Some of the old administration rooms are being used as storage, you could probably hide out in there.”

 

Vince was staring at him with a strange look on his face which Howard couldn’t identify, but it made him feel uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and considered snapping something about getting back to work, but couldn’t seem to form the words. Vince still hadn’t looked away.

 

“You don’t have to,” Howard said when he couldn’t bear the continued silence. “It’s up to you, but you can’t sleep outside.”

 

“No, that’s great, thanks Howard,” Vince said softly.

 

There was something strange happening, something under the surface, but Howard couldn’t identify it. For all his years of reading and writing poetry, he found it impossible when confronted with hidden meaning. “We can meet at the same time as normal tonight and I’ll find somewhere for you to sleep.”

 

They got back to work, but Vince was quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the day. It set Howard on edge, he wasn’t sure how to deal with a Vince that wasn't happy. He realised how his own mood had come to rely on the other man’s company to lift it. In response he became shorter, more prone to snapping. His father’s son through and through, he supposed. Vince didn’t react to his shortened temper, just accepting the admonishments with big eyes and a nod of his head. It made Howard want to reach out to him, to shake him from the strange mood. But he didn’t, he turned this attention to his duty and tried to cut out everything else.

 

“I’ll see you later, don’t be late,” he snapped by way of parting.

 

Anxiety fluttered in his chest for the rest of the day. A strange thought formed, that maybe Vince wouldn't arrive at their meeting. That somehow Howard had failed again and Vince had decided that he didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. What if the last thing he’d said to him was distant and angry? The idea of spending the rest of his rotation here alone was so bleak it made his chest tight.

 

He was so distracted that his hammered his own thumb and dropped a bucket of dirty water over the floor of the bakery. Eleanor chased him off not long after, saying he was doing more harm than good. She was more right than she could know, of course. But at least she still handed him his food before patting him on the arse and shoving him out of the door.

 

His heart fluttered in his chest as he made his way to their meeting point, half expecting to find it empty. But then Vince stepped forward and Howard felt himself relax. But the feeling of uncertainty remained. Now the thoughts were proved wrong, he was left wondering why he had he cared so much. He’d certainly poured a lot of time and effort into looking after the other man, but that didn’t mean his life wouldn’t be simpler without him. Maybe he didn’t really want it to be simple. But it was exactly that sort of thinking that was going to get him in trouble.

 

“Hurry up,” he whispered instead of a greeting, and turned on his heel. Vince didn’t argue for once, just fell into step beside him. They made their way around the building, to a back door that led directly to the storerooms. It was mostly used for deliveries and so they were able to get in without needing to sneak around.

 

He should probably mention to Fossil about the lax security and the threat it posed to all of their safety. But he’d only end up being set to nightwatch if he did. Besides, he’d never seen more than a stray cat in all his own sneaking around.

 

They walked down the corridor and Howard opened his mouth to announce they should start by looking in the storerooms for somewhere suitable, when the door to the mess opened and two figures stepped out. Howard darted backwards, throwing his arm out to push Vince behind him. They slipped inside the nearest door. It was a cupboard that also seemed to house all of the cleaning products in the base. There wasn’t much room to manoeuvre, but Howard stepped back and tried to ensure they would be at least slightly hidden if the door was opened.

 

“Howard?” Vince whispered.

 

Howard put a finger to his lips. “That was Fossil, he can’t find you here.”

 

Vince’s eyes were huge in the dim light coming from under the door. They froze, listening to the footfalls outside coming closer before stopping.

 

“This way, Bainbridge, sir!” Fossil was saying, only slightly muffled by the closed door. There was an odd note to his voice that Howard hadn’t heard before. It was infantile, perhaps an attempt to sound appeasing.

 

“Do shut up, Fossil,” another voice - Bainbridge, Fossil had called him - snapped. “Where are the supplies?”

 

“In here, sir.” Fossil was definitely worried, which meant it must be someone a lot further up the chain of command.

 

“And who is guarding it?” The voice was cold and hard. It reminded Howard of his first commander and he scowled.

 

“From who?” Fossil sounded genuinely perplexed. “There isn’t much to steal and only old women and men too stupid to leave left here.”

 

“When the war comes you will be besieged with people wanting protection, food and arms. This should be protected at all times,” Bainbridge answered with the clear implication he thought Fossil was a fool. Meaning he wasn’t quite as stupid as the man he was talking to.

 

“Yes sir,” he said, now simpering. “I’ll find someone right away.”

 

“See that you do.” There was a pause. “Well, are we to stay here all night or are we continuing?”

 

“Yes, sir! Right away, sir! This way, sir!”

 

They didn’t move until the footfalls slowly faded away, presumably back down the hall and into the main building. They both let out a slow breath. Howard turned to Vince and found him standing closer than he’d expected. At some point he’d reached out to grip Howard’s arm; he was so close that Howard could feel the heat from his body. He flushed, and then felt embarrassed and confused by the reaction. He stepped back a bit and Vince let go of his arm.

 

“I don’t think the storerooms are going to be safe for you,” he said. “If they think you’re stealing rather than sleeping there, you’ll be hung.”

 

Vince nodded. “What about…” he started and stopped to swallow. His eyes were big and nervous looking. “I could stay with you? You said that you got your own room. I could just sleep on the floor by your bed.”

 

The suggestion made him nervous and not just because if Vince was found there would be no denying his involvement. But, it was probably too late anyway. Plenty of the people around town had seen them together, what happened to Vince would now always come back to him. So he forced a nod of his head.

 

“Who was that?” Vince asked after a moment. “Why is he here?”

 

Howard shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said. “There’s a war apparently. Maybe it’s getting closer and he’s here to make sure we can hold the line.” The idea was ridiculous; they could barely hold the base against the rats and they didn't have weapons.

 

Vince looked worried and Howard reached out to him automatically. He placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, little man,” he said. “There’s always a war and they always blow themselves out in a matter of weeks. We’ll be fine all the way out here.” It felt false to his own ears. Their main safety net was that the army wanted to forget they existed. If Bainbridge had already been sent by the command, that was lost. But there was nothing to be done about that.

 

“Come on,” he said, keen to not continue a conversation that would only end up worrying them both.

 

They walked slowly down the corridors, keeping both their eyes and ears alert for anyone approaching, but the place seemed empty and they reached his room without further incident. It was little more than a cupboard itself. But there was just room to lie on the floor by his bunk and it wasn’t like he had any possessions to clutter up the little space there was.

 

Howard handed Vince his food and he ate in silence, while Howard tried not to think about what Bainbridge’s presence at the base might mean.

 

“If the war comes here,” Vince said suddenly, not looking at Howard and worrying at his lip. “Will you be called to fight?”

 

“Of course,” Howard said. “That’s one of the primary things expected of you when you’re in the army.”

 

Vince nodded. “So, you’ll have to leave?”

 

Howard’s stomach clenched at the thought. He knew that was the theory, he’d thought he was prepared for the reality of it; he’d grown up reading about war and soldiers and the glory of defending your country. But then he’d seen the aftermath and realised there was nothing romantic or noble to be had in death and destruction. But it was too late now. “Yes,” he said, “if it comes close enough. But, I’ll make sure you’re fine and it’s better that I leave and go to it than it comes here.”

 

“We could…” Vince started and then stopped before taking a deep breath and trying again. “We could always leave, if it got too close.”

 

“You’re an orphan with no job or discernible skills.” He said the words firmly, but tried not to make them sound too harsh. “The only thing that could make that worse for you is to be an orphan with no job or discernible skills, with a deserter from the Russian army in tow.” He waited for the words to sink in. “No, if the time comes, I will go to war and protect this town. I’m a man of action, Vince, no harm will come to me.”

 

“Have you actually ever fired that gun?” Vince asked, nodding over to where Howard had left it.

 

“Well,” he said. “In training they gave us ones quite like it.”

“Have you killed anyone?” Vince persisted.

 

Howard drew himself up. “I know more of the world than you do, lad,” he said, his embarrassment at being asked such revealing and direct questions making his voice harsh. “You’ve never even left this town. Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I’ve seen and done things that would make your hair go white. I don’t need any lectures from you on life experience.”

 

“I don’t mean nothing by it, Howard,” he said. “I just don’t like war… Me dad went off and he never came home. I don’t want that to happen to you.”

 

Howard deflated. “It won’t.” The lie came surprisingly easily in the face of Vince’s such obvious concern. “We should sleep,” he said, not wanting to continue the conversation and especially the lie.

 

“Yeah, okay,” Vince shrugged and moved to lie down on the floor. Howard watched him for a moment before sighing.

 

“Here,” he said, taking his coat from where it was hanging on the door. “Have this.”

 

“Thanks Howard!” Vince grinned, taking the coat and tucking it over himself and settling down on the floor.

 

The image was so strange that Howard couldn’t take his eyes off for it for a moment. The coat was big on him, but it dwarfed Vince, making him look especially small and fragile. There was something about it that he found captivating, almost _enticing_. He cleared his throat and turned the light off quickly before lying back down on his bunk. The dark was oddly soothing, shielding him from Vince’s stare and ending the conversation.

 

“Why are you here, Howard?” Vince said into the silence a few moments later.

 

“This is my bedroom,” he replied, smiling a little because Vince couldn't see it.

 

“Good one, Howard,” he said, with a huff of mock indignance. “I mean, why did they send you here?” He seemed genuinely curious and Howard’s stomach clenched painfully. Vince had asked a few times after their first meeting but Howard had always deflected or just plain ignored the question. He hadn’t told the story to anyone, hoping to bury the whole memory.

 

“I’m a soldier in the Russian army, Vince, sworn to protect the motherland against any and all threats.” It sounded weak even to his own ears but he did still remember when he believed it. When he thought he would be doing something worthwhile.

 

“But they don’t send people like you here,” Vince persisted.

 

Howard sighed at the ceiling. _You don’t know what I really am,_ he wanted to say. Instead he took a breath before speaking. He’d always been a bit self destructive he supposed, and besides, it was probably time Vince learned who he really was. He’d no doubt leave afterwards, but that would be for the best. He was getting too attached as it was, especially with his nonsense talk about them leaving together.

 

“I was a new recruit,” he said, glad that they couldn’t see each other and he wouldn’t be able to see the look of disgust or maybe horror that would unfurl on the other man’s face. “There was a skirmish on the border.” He couldn’t even remember where now, some nameless town caught in the crossfire of a meaningless pissing contest between men thousands of miles away. “We were sent to secure the town,” he swallowed, “what was left of it.”

 

He sometimes he thought he could still smell it, the burning rubble and death hanging in the air. “There weren't many people left.” Those that could flee were long gone and most that wouldn’t or couldn’t were dead. “But there was a school there.”

 

He’d found it. A miracle amongst the carnage. All ten children huddled in a cupboard with their teacher. The woman was older than him, proud looking with a tight bun and sharp features. He’d been so proud to find them, to announce that help had arrived. He’d seen the dread on her face, been confused and then dismissive of it. He hadn’t thought anything of telling his commander, too eager to show he’d done something good.

 

“The commander took a fancy to the teacher,” he said, his voice wanting to break and he bit down hard on the impulse. “She didn’t want…” He balled his hands into fists on the bed beside him. Her face, a mask of horror, seemed permanently carved into his mind. “I helped her get out the next morning, but…” He clenched his jaw as tightly as he could. “Anyway, I was sent here and I don’t know what happened to her.”

“Oh Howard,” Vince said. “I’m so sorry.”

 

That was probably the last thing he expected to hear. But then, Vince had always been a little slow. “I didn’t do anything,” he said, suddenly feeling a bit desperate. He needed Vince to understand. “When he took her away… I just stood there.” The woman had looked at him, eyes wide and terrified and he’d felt rooted to the spot. He’d wanted to speak. But as always seemed to happen, the words had refused to come. Fear and uncertainty had kept them locked away. In the end he’d looked away, dropped his eyes to the floor and pretended he couldn’t see, couldn’t hear. “Spoils of war, he called it,” he said, his voice wavering embarrassingly. “She was on _our_ side… She was a teacher and I just…”

 

The bunk dipped alarmingly and Howard jumped. Vince didn't react, just threw an arm over his waist and lay his head on Howard’s shoulder and held him tight. “It weren’t your fault, Howard,” he said. “You wouldn’t have been able to do anything. You'd have just ended up dead and so would she. You got her out.”

 

He didn't know what to do and his eyes felt wet. He knew he should push Vince away. He didn't deserve the comfort and the touch made him feel like he was taking something that didn't belong to him. “I'm a coward,” he said, his voice hoarse and strained. “I signed up to help people and the first chance I had to actually protect someone that needed it, I just stood there.”

 

“Not getting yourself and her killed don't make you a coward,” Vince whispered. “You did a brave thing getting her out even though you knew what might happen.”

 

“I knew they'd never be able to prove it was me,” he admitted. “They suspected but there wasn't any evidence and they could hardly try me for it. But they could send me out here to rot.”

 

He couldn’t regret it. Not really.

 

“I'm glad they did,” Vince said firmly. “Otherwise I'd probably be dead now. The way I see it is that you've seen two people who needed your help and you've gone out of your way to help them. Even when it could get you in trouble.”

 

He was all wrong. If could see the inside of Howard’s head he would know that. There was nothing brave or noble about his thought processes. He had been so scared that he’d done the smallest amount possible. But he didn't know how to express that in the face of Vince's earnest belief that he was a good person. He was tired and sad and much too selfish not to take the comfort being given. He didn't say anything in response and Vince didn't move from his position on the too small bunk. His boney frame was strangely comforting and Howard closed his eyes.

 

———

 

He woke the next morning to find Vince had somehow worked himself under the thin blanket with him. Howard’s arms were wrapped firmly around his waist and Vince was sleeping soundly with his head still pillowed on Howard’s shoulder. He froze, unfamiliar with the being so close to anyone, and surprised at his own limbs apparently having increased their proximity in the night. He turned his head to look at Vince. This close he could see the delicate skin over the hook of his nose, and the dark of his eyelashes as they rested on his cheekbones. He was struck again by how feminine he looked, but for the strong jaw and dark hair showing through as stubble. _Beautiful._ The thought surprised him, although it wasn’t the first time he’d thought it while looking at the other man. It made him confused and a bit worried.

 

He thought he should rouse him, Vince needed to be out before the others were awake or they'd be trapped there all day. There was also the chance of an inspection, Fossil never bothered, but if the higher-ups were here it was possible that some semblance of proper routine might be restored. He shifted, trying to stretch his legs and jostled Vince at the same time.

 

He froze again, feeling vulnerable at the thought of Vince realising their current position. But the other man’s eyes were already blinking open. He frowned for a moment and Howard’s heart felt like it might burst right through his chest. Then he grinned brilliantly at him.

 

“Morning Howard,” he breathed and stretched. “That was genius. I ain’t slept that well in ages.”

 

Howard paused, realising it was true. He’d fallen asleep quickly and he didn’t remember stirring the entire night. It made him feel anxious for reasons he didn’t understand. “We need to get up,” he said. He’d meant to sound stern, but it came out soft and almost intimate.

 

Vince looked at him, their eyes meeting. Howard realised again how close they were, he could feel the entire length of the other man pressed against him. There was a strange moment where it looked like Vince was going to do something, perhaps speak or lean toward him. But instead he stretched and clambered out of the bed.

 

Howard blinked after him, feeling confused and something that felt alarmingly like disappointment. “I need to get down to the mess,” he said, pulling himself from the bunk. “I’ll meet you at the normal place.”

 

He didn’t look at the other man as he got ready and left the room, but he felt flustered for the entire morning. He barely heard anything Fossil said as he addressed the ‘troops’. Bainbridge was nowhere in sight, so it must have just been a snap inspection. It made him relax. The war couldn’t be too close if the visit was so short.

 

He didn’t pay attention to what Fossil said at the best of times. But there was more talk of the war. Fossil seemed agitated, but he always seemed het-up about something and it never came to anything.

 

He sighed and wondered if Vince had managed to get out okay. He found his mind wandering to the other man continuously as he went about his morning routine. To the colour of his eyes, and the earnestness way he tried to sooth Howard’s fears about being coward. The weight of his arm and head where it had laid on Howard's body. It felt as though he was tingling with the memory.

 

\-----

 

Vince didn’t even make the pretense of sleeping on the floor after that. They simply both clambered into Howard's too small bunk and fell asleep with Vince's head pillowed on his shoulder. Sometimes they’s shift in the night and wake on their sides, their legs tangled together and Howard’s arm wrapped securely around Vince’s waist.

 

They didn't talk about it. Howard didn't have the words. He wasn't sure what it meant. There was a vague sense that it wasn't what friends or comrades did, but further than that he didn't want to look into it. It seemed much easier not to mention it. So they carried on in their normal routine. Only sometimes now Vince would touch him.

 

Nothing big or too obvious. But he'd lean closer when they were talking and when they huddled around the fire at lunch, Vince would sit pressed against him. The touches were equal parts confusing and exhilarating. He didn't mention them either. He wasn't even sure how to reciprocate. But he didn't shrug him off, despite feeling skittish whenever it happened.

 

They didn't tend to talk much in the evenings. The chance of Vince being found was still too great to risk it. So Howard jumped a few nights later at the sound of the others man’s voice.

 

“Howard,” Vince said, his voice small. “Where do you go after we finish work?”

 

“What do you mean?” He felt panicked for reasons he couldn't articulate. He hadn't meant to exactly hide anything from Vince, but he was embarrassed. There was a vague feeling that what he was doing was strange… He could have sent Vince to do the work. Eleanor might not have let him, but it would have made more sense than him trying to work a job outside of his regular duties.

 

But he didn't want to look at the reasons too closely. He knew that he _liked_ it, though. He _liked_ the idea that he was looking after Vince. Not because he wanted anything from him. At least, not more than his continued company. But he wasn't sure how to articulate that and it not sound strange, or more than it really was.

 

Vince twisted his hands, his face a mask of nervous concern. “I mean… you always disappear for hours and then you come back with the pies and I just… Where are you getting them from?”

 

“I have many friends in the town-” he began, the lie obvious in the high pitched tone of his voice.

 

“Come on Howard,” Vince said. “I know you're seeing Eleanor. I didn't think she were your type, she's well old and a bit weird to be honest, but you don't have to be embarrassed.”

 

Howard felt his face heat. “I'm doing odd jobs for her!” he squeaked, his voice sounded strangled, perhaps by the sheer weight of his embarrassment at the idea.

 

“What?” Vince cocked his head to the side. The slight frown and almost displeased downturn of his lips was replaced by something closer to confusion.

 

“I help her out around the bakery with all the jobs she can't do and in return I get the leftovers. There is nothing of the sordid nature you're suggesting going on, I can assure you. I'm a man-”

 

“Well if that's all it is, you should have said,” Vince cut in, saving him from having to think of an end to that sentence.

 

He could feel himself deflating. “I just…” he shrugged. “I didn't want you to worry about it. I promised to make sure you were fed and I wanted to honour that. Howard Moon is a man of his word.” When he could actually get the words out at least.

 

Vince stared at him for a long time. “Okay,” he said. “But, you don't have to do it alone. We're a team, I don’t want you doing a load of work while I sit around. The deal was I get half your rations for helping you do your work. That should apply to this new work too, right?”

 

The logic was undeniable, so he didn't try. Instead he shrugged. “I promised to look after you.” It sounded melodramatic and stupid as soon as the words were out. In truth, he couldn't now grasp the reasons he'd been so adamant that Vince not know what he was doing.

 

But instead of pointing that out, Vince smiled at him. The open affection in his eyes made Howard look away. “I know, but teams is all about helping each other. We’re a team right? I wanna help you too.”

 

“I'd…” he started, trying to make himself say something that wasn't a deflection. “I’d like that,” he managed.

 

Vince smiled hugely at him. “Right! I'm coming with you tomorrow. I bet I can make myself at least as useful as you. Probably more.”

 

“Please,” Howard said, relieved at the distraction. “I taught you everything you know.”

 

“Ah!” Vince exclaimed with a cheeky grin, “You might have taught me everything _I_ know, but did you teach me everything _you_ know?”

 

He laughed. It ruined the effect of the joke, but he couldn't help it. He'd never met anyone quite so ridiculous in his life. He didn't understand how it could be so endearing

 

“Come on, little man,” he said in the end. “There's work to do tomorrow. More for you than ever.”

 

\----

 

Eleanor simply raised an eyebrow at them when she opened the door the next evening.

 

“Well hello,” she purred, her signature extension of the word out in full force. “A gang bang is it?”

 

Howard felt himself blush, which was both stupid and embarrassing but Vince just pushed his way inside. “Leave off, Howard ain’t interested in that and I ain’t your type,” he said looking around.

 

She arched an eyebrow at him. “From what I hear, I'm not yours either, young man.”

 

Vince looked almost panicked for a moment before squaring his jaw and glaring at her. “Well, in that case, you can just point me in the direction of the jobs what need doing and me and Howard’ll get to work.”

 

“I like him, Howard,” she said after a moment of smirking at them both. “I suppose you can keep him. He might make the place look a bit prettier.”

 

Howard wondered what on earth had just happened. He hadn't understood a lot of the conversation but knew better than to ask. “What's on the list today, Eleanor?” he asked instead of any of the other dozen questions flittering in his head.

 

The work went quickly, both because there was two of them and because time always seemed to pass differently when Vince was with him. They took their pie and hurried back to the base, eager to eat and get back to Howard’s room.

 

Perhaps his elation at finally having no secrets from the other man meant he let his guard down. But they were chatting happily on his bed later that night when they both froze suddenly.

 

“Moon!” A voice called from just outside the door. “I need-”

 

They didn’t have time to do anything but stare at each other in panic and leap to their feet before the door was open and Kodiak was walking into the room. He looked up and clearly saw Vince, who had gripped Howard’s arm in fear, and froze.

 

Howard edged in front of Vince, not sure what he hoped to achieve, but wanting a barrier between him and the other man.

 

“Well, well, well,” Kodiak said, his eyes sharp and mouth forming a feral smile. “What’s going on here, Moon?”

 

Howard didn’t know how to respond. His heart was hammering in his chest, his brain scrambling to come up with some excuse, some escape, but nothing came to him. He stepped back, pushing Vince further behind him and away. It looked bad however you cut it. They weren't allowed civilians in the base. Sure, some of the men bought back the odd woman, but never men. There was no chance they’d believe that it was innocent, not with them both clearly ready for bed and it being so late.

 

Kodiak was going to report him and there was nothing he could do. Perhaps Vince might be able to escape if he put up enough of a fight, but he couldn't imagine doing anything more than throwing up on himself when he thought of them coming for him. They were both going to die unless he did something. He needed to act but he felt paralysed.

 

“Moon really did finally manage to get some action, did he? And with such a pretty little thing too.” Kodiak stepped forward, a leer on his face.

 

“What do you want, Jack?” he asked, trying to sound firm and not terrified, but he could hear the waver in his own voice. Maybe if just acted like nothing was happening he could make it true.

 

Kodiak smiled at him again. “Old Jack just needed that little knife of yours,” he said. “Didn’t realise that you had company. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

 

“You can’t have my knife,” Howard said. “I need it, now why don’t you get out of here before I make you.”

 

Kodiak laughed, an entirely unpleasant sound. “You ain’t making Jack do anything he don’t want, Moon, you pathetic lump.” He smiled again. “But I do like your choice in rutting partners, I’ll give you that. You up for sharing?”

 

His stomach lurched with a new type of horror.  “What?” He felt his face heat. “No!” He realised that he could have at least tried to deny there was anything to ‘share’ but it was too late and his brain seemed to have ground to a halt at the mere implication.

 

“Hmmm,” he said, looking Vince over again. Howard felt the other man shrink back against the wall behind him. “Pity. But if you ever get tired of this limp-dick sack of shit and need a real man to take care of you, you be sure to come to old Jack.”

 

“As if,” Vince said, stepping forward to lean around him, but his hand was still digging painfully into Howard’s arm. “Howard is more of a man than you any day.”

 

Howard's chest swelled with pride. But Jack just laughed. “Alright, pretty, keep those little knickers on.” He looked at Howard again. “Be seeing you, Moon.” Then he was gone.

 

They both sagged against the wall. “Bloody hell, Howard!” Vince whispered. “No wonder you didn't want me talking to none of the other soldiers.”

 

Howard let out a slow breath. “I don't think he’s going to say anything,” he said. “But, it’s probably best that you don’t wander around alone.”

 

Vince nodded.

 

The implication of what Kodiak had insinuated hung in the air for a long moment. Howard could make a joke, bring it out into the open and dismiss it as ridiculous. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself to even acknowledge it. He didn’t want to know what Vince thought of it. Didn't want to see him laugh it off as stupid. Even though it was. Of course it was. It wasn't like wanted… _that_ with Vince. But acknowledging even the potential seemed dangerous. None of the possible responses would make him happy. So he stayed silent, not quite able to meet Vince's eye.

 

“We should get some sleep, Howard,” Vince said eventually, his voice soft but seeming too loud in the quiet of the room.

 

“Yeah,” he said, still not looking at him. “Let’s get some sleep.”

 

They didn’t speak as they got ready for bed. The silence seemed almost oppressive but he couldn’t bring himself to break it. He turned off the light and climbed into the bunk. Vince followed slowly after him. There wasn’t any way for them not to touch, which had never seemed like a problem before. But now everything was heightened. He held himself tense and unresponsive as Vince curled around him.

 

They lay there for a long time, listening to the sounds of the base at night. Then Vince spoke, he didn’t move, didn’t try and catch Howard’s eye but he could feel the words rumble out of his chest, which was pressed against his side, as he spoke.

 

“I love you, Howard,” Vince said. Howard froze, his breath catching in his throat. “You don’t have to say anything. But no one has ever done so much for me and I just... I wanted you to know… I love you.”

 

He swallowed and tried to formulate some words, a response of some kind. He knew Vince couldn’t really mean what he was saying. Maybe he didn’t even really understand how they would sound, so freshly after what Kodiak had implied. Or maybe he thought he had to say them. That that was why Howard had offered him his help. The thought made his stomach churn.

 

“You don’t have to say that,” he said, wishing there was room for him to pull back and put some distance between them. “What Kodiak said… He doesn't understand that people can do things without wanting that in return. I didn't help you because-”

 

“I know that,” Vince said, his arms gripping Howard firmly. “I know you didn’t want anything from me, you’ve never expected anything from me. That’s why I love you. And because you make up such good songs and you make me laugh. You helped me when you had no idea who I was or anything…” Vince trailed off but his arms didn’t loosen from around him.

 

He didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure what was expected of him. It made his heart beat fast in fear and his hands itch with the need to reach out. He didn’t know what Vince wanted from him and he certainly wasn’t worthy of that word. Probably not from anyone, and certainly not from Vince. All the words he thought about saying seemed trapped in his chest and the harder he tried to force them out the more stuck they seemed to become.

 

“Night Howard,” Vince said after the silence had gone for a long time.

 

“Night Vince,” he managed to choke out.

 

They lay still, Vince still wrapped around him but Howard felt suddenly alone and terrified. He didn’t sleep, even as he felt Vince begin to relax beside him and his breathing even out.

 

TBC


	3. Chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When I’m with you,” Vince said, looking at Howard intently, “it feels like I can see the future.”
> 
> “Careful,” Howard said, nudging him and trying not to smile, “talk like that with looks like yours, people will start thinking you’re a witch.”
> 
> Vince shoved him back. “You know what I mea! Not the actual future, but like…” He paused, his face screwed up in concentration. “Like, there is a future. Like beyond the next meal or place to sleep, you know? I ain’t ever had that before. There didn’t seem to be any point.”

**Chapter three**

They didn’t mention it the next morning. Howard’s heart began beating wildly when Vince stirred beside him, but the other man just smiled at him as though nothing had happened. Howard felt himself relax a little. Perhaps it had all been some sort of test, Vince checking if Howard really did want something from him in return for his help. He hoped he’d shown that he didn’t. Although the feeling that something had shifted between them didn’t ease as they got ready and Howard headed out to resume his morning duties.

He found it hard to listen to Fossil as he droned on. But, slowly, he realised there was something off about his delivery. He looked around and found the other men all a little more alert than normal too. It wasn’t the words themselves, but Howard thought he could hear it in Fossil’s tone, see it in his stance. The war was still raging on and getting closer to their little base.

But, more than that, they were losing. Of course they were, that’s what tended to happen when you gave half starved men broken weapons and little ammunition and sent them into battle. Howard hadn’t seen combat up close but his units had moved through the aftermath often enough for him to know that he wanted no part of it. He thought of the town where they’d found the school, its smoking husk and burned bodies, and fear rose in his chest. Vince didn’t belong near something like that, and the thought of what the opposing troops might do if he was still alive when they took the town made his stomach churn. It all added to his general feeling of unease and helplessness. Everything seemed to be happening around him while he stood idly by, unable to intervene.

He didn’t mention it to Vince while they worked. He didn’t want to worry him and he certainly didn’t want Vince bringing up more nonsense about them leaving together. Howard was a man of his word and he’d signed up to serve the Russian army. However he felt about it now, he wasn’t about to back out. Besides, he’d seen what they did with deserters and he didn’t want Vince (or himself) near that.

But it continued to play on his mind as they made their way to the bakery that night. He just needed some more information. He couldn't plan with just a vague sense of dread and Fossil’s inane ramblings to go on.

He eyed Eleanor as he worked. He knew that she heard a lot of gossip from people in the town as they all tended to pass through her doors during the day. But, more than that, she tended to get information from outside of the town due to her need for supplies. He waited until he was sure Vince was busy and followed her into the kitchen.

“Have you heard much about this war?” he asked, the words tumbling out of him in a rush. He tried to sound casual but he could hear the tension in his voice. He picked up a bucket she’d left discarded on the floor and stared at it, swinging it back and forth.

He could see her out of the corner of his eye as she stopped working and fixed him with her dark eyes for a moment. “It doesn’t go well for our troops,” she said after a moment, before turning to continue with her cleaning.

“When does it ever?” he asked before realising some people might take that as a slight against the country and its leadership. He held his breath before she let out a low chuckle.

“Not often,” she agreed. “But I hear it’s getting closer.”

Howard nodded and tried to concentrate on the movement of the bucket, but couldn’t make his eyes focus.

“Are they talking about deploying you?” Her tone was light, but he fancied he could hear a note of concern under it.

He shook his head. “Not yet, although if it gets much closer, they won’t need to.”

She hummed in agreement and continued to scrub at the stone floor. “Are you perhaps worried about that pretty little thing in the other room?”

Howard’s whole body locked up. “What?” he stammered. “I don’t…”

“My dear boy,” she said, cutting him off. “You wouldn’t be the first man I’ve lost to the embrace of another. He’s a nice lad, if you don’t mind the odd thing going missing.”

Words formed in his mouth, denials and deflections but he couldn’t seem to articulate any of them. He needed to put a stop to those sorts of rumours before there was any chance of them reaching Fossil. But his mouth didn’t seem to be working properly. “We’re not… he’s my-”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” she said with a wink. “Like he can’t wait to get that ugly uniform right off your body. I sympathise, of course, and while I’d prefer it were my bedroom floor they were cluttering up, better him than most of the other idiots around here.”

There was so much wrong with what she was saying Howard’s brain seemed to refuse to take any of it in. “He doesn’t belong in the middle of a war,” was what eventually managed to work its way out of the backlog of words formed in his throat.

Eleanor sighed heavily. “No one does, my dear boy,” she said. “But it’s coming for us, whether we deserve it or not.”

Dread pooled cold and heavy in his stomach. It didn’t leave as they finished their work and headed back to the base. He wondered if he ought to try and find out more about what was happening, but decided against it. There wasn’t anything he could do about it anyway and it would only make him more worried to know. Perhaps it would be better to ignore it until something more definite happened. Then he could formulate a plan.

Or perhaps he could find a way to make Vince leave. If he had a destination in mind, perhaps he might be more amenable. He wondered where he could send him. Howard didn’t have a lot of family left, but there was an aunt living near Krasnoyarsk. He’d only met her a handful of times, but his mother had loved her and perhaps that would be enough for her to show some kindness to her nephew’s friend. Maybe he should write to her and ask if she could use some help on their farm.

He was mentally preparing a letter to her as he made his way back to his room after dinner. His head shot up when he heard a noise from down the corridor. It sounded like raised voices coming from his room.

With a start he realised that Kodiak had been absent from the mess. He picked up his pace and then there was a scream from inside his room. Howard’s heart leapt to his throat and he was running before he consciously decided to.

“Vince,” he called, fear pressing at his chest as he shoved open his door. His hand was at his belt, groping for his knife as he entered the room and stared around wildly.

Then stopped dead a couple of steps into the room, confused for a moment at what he was seeing. Kodiak was lying on the floor, clutching at his leg, while Vince was standing over him, a snarl on his face.

“Vince,” Howard said again, coming into the room. He noticed with another lurch of his stomach that his cheek was red as though he’d been hit.

“That’s what you get,” Vince said, gesturing at Kodiak. Howard noticed with a jolt that his hand was covered in blood. He was holding a pair of pliers, the ones they’d been using to mend the fence.

They were all going to be killed he realised with a sinking feeling. Kodiak was going to report them and no doubt accuse them both of every crime he could think of and they were going to be shot. He had just enough time to think that at least a firing squad would be better than being caught in the cross fire of a battle, before Kodiak began to chuckle.

“That’s what I like to see,” he laughed, struggling to get to his feet, his hand over the wound in his leg. “A little spunk. You got yourself a real prize here, Moon, couldn’t deserve it less, of course.”

Vince started forward and Howard threw out his arm to stop him. “Get out of here, Jack,” he said, his voice cold. “Before I finish off what Vince started.”

Kodiak laughed uproariously at that before limping toward the door. “It’ll take more than either of you’ve got to finish off old Jack,” he said. “But, I do like the spirit you’ve got there! See you boys.” He winked at them before hobbling away and closing the door behind him.

Howard spun around and reached for Vince immediately. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Vince nodded and then shook his head, clearly unsure which question to answer. “I’m fine,” he said, his voice mostly steady. “He just came in and was saying all this stuff… I told him to get lost but he…” He trailed off and gestured to his face, which was starting to bloom into a nasty looking bruise.

Howard’s blood felt like it was boiling, he curled his hands into fists. “I bloody kill him,” he said.

Vince’s hands tightened on his arms. “No, it’s fine,” he said. “I saw him off, it ain’t the first time someone thought they could… You’ll just get in trouble if you do anything now.”

He was right but that didn’t make Howard feel any better about it. He clenched his jaw, the frustration about another thing he was powerless to do anything about settled in his stomach and made him want to scream. He wasn’t sure for a moment that he was going to be able to stamp down on the fury building inside of him.

“Howard,” Vince said, “it’s okay. I’m okay.”

Vince ran a hand down his arm and some of the tension eased from his frame. He managed to nod his head. “I’ll get you some snow for your cheek,” he said, instead of all of the other things he wanted to.

“No,” Vince said, his hands tightening on his arms. “Stay with me.”

He felt immediately stupid and then angry again. He ran his hands up Vince’s arms to grip his shoulders and the contact seemed to make both of them relax, so he repeated the action, letting his hands trail down the other man’s arms until they covered his hands. He noticed Vince was still clutching the bloodied pliers in his hand. He forced a small smile onto this face. “You really do know how to look after yourself,” he said, nodding down at them.

Vince let out another breath. “I told you,” he said. “I’m scrappy.”

“You can say that again. After that I doubt Kodiak’ll be walking without a limp.” He gently eased the pliers from Vince’s hand as he spoke and threw them onto his bag at the bottom of the bunk. He held Vince’s other hand in his own, not wanting to lose the connection entirely.

“I bloody hope so,” Vince said, some of the bravado coming back into his voice. “That creepy old ballsack deserved a lot more.”

“You’re not wrong about that,” Howard agreed, turning back around. Vince looked small and vulnerable, despite his apparent proficiency at defending himself. It made Howard’s chest ache, wondering how many times he’d had to something similar and the fact that there was no one there to comfort him afterwards. “Come on, little man, let’s get ready for bed. You’re cold and it’s been a long day.”

“Yeah, okay.” Vince nodded, and allowed himself to be pulled towards the bed.

Howard did his best to clean Vince’s hands and tried to stamp down on the fury swirling in his chest.

They took off some of their outer layers and climbed into the bunk. A tension hung in the room around them. Howard was the one to reach out and pull Vince close to him. The panic he’d felt when he heard the scream still pulsing Just under his skin. Vince came easily, lying down in his arms. He was still for a few moments before suddenly sitting up.

“I love you, Howard,” he said, looking at him intently.

Howard had no more an idea of what to do the second time than he had the first. But, he couldn’t look away either. They stared at each other for a long time. He hadn't turned off the lamp and he could make out the darker rim of blue around Vince’s iris.

Then Vince very slowly leant forward and kissed him. It was just a gentle meeting of lips. But Howard felt like he might of been struck by lightning. His heart leapt and his whole body felt like it was vibrating with some unknown emotion, something somewhere between fear and excitement. He didn’t move, his body didn’t seem to be working properly. But then Vince kissed him again, a more certain press of lips, followed by a series of light pecks. He found himself responding almost automatically, leaning up to meet the kisses.

Then Vince was nudging Howard onto his back and rolling on top of him. Howard inhaled sharply and felt for a moment like he might never be able to catch his breath. Vince was warm and solid on top of him, and Howard didn’t think he’d ever felt so perfectly in the right place and time. Vince kissed him again, opening his mouth and Howard did the same, his body seeming more than happy to take over while his mind remained blank with surprise.

Vince was shifting over him, his hand snaking between them, trying to tug at Howard’s clothing. His mind sparked for a moment before seeming to come screaming back with all his senses heightened. He didn't remember ever considering it before, but suddenly the idea of having Vince naked and on top of him seemed vitally important. Like he'd been waiting for it his entire life. There was quite a lot of awkward shuffling and they both seemed to suddenly be made entirely of elbows and knees. Howard got a sharp blow to the face.

“Sorry Howard!” Vince whispered, his voice seeming to be on the verge of a giggle.

He didn't know much about this process, but he was sure that being laughed at wasn’t a good sign. “This is no laughing matter,” he said, trying to sound stern.

Vince looked sheepishly at him, a grin still almost showing on his lips. “Sorry, Howard,” he said.

There was something so sincere about the way he said it, that Howard found himself smiling despite himself. He couldn't ever really seem to mind being the reason Vince laughed, even if it was at him.

There was some more maneuvering before they managed to remove a good portion of their clothing. Howard gasped as Vince lay back over him, his long, lean body now pressed tightly against his own. He felt almost overwhelmed.

Embarrassingly, it must have shown on his face because Vince reached out and cupped his cheek. “It's alright, Howard,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

There was a vague thought in the back of his head that he probably ought to take control of the situation. Wasn't he meant to be a man of the world? He'd read as many as four books where matters of this nature - well, not quite this nature, but surely similar enough - happened. He should know what he was doing and take the lead. But he couldn't. The sensations were too many and intense for him to get a handle on them.

Vince's hand moved between them again and then curled around Howard into a gentle fist to stroke him.

“Vince,” he whispered, his toes curling at the feeling. He felt too warm and pleasure was coiling hot and heavy in his stomach.

Vince kissed him, his tongue sweeping into his mouth in time with the rhythm of his hand. Howard gripped him around the shoulders, wanting to bring him closer, his hips starting to buck into his hand as it moved.

“I want,” he gasped when his brain managed to fire a few suggestions at him. “Can I touch you?”

Vince grinned down at him. “You can do anything you want, Howard.”

There were too many things that leapt into his mind at that for him to say anything coherent in return. Instead of speaking, he reached down between them to take Vince in his hand. He was hard, the length of him felt surprisingly different to Howard's own. He felt a stab of lust at the thought of what he was doing, then Vince moaned, his eyes fluttering closed and his own cock throbbed urgently.

“Howard,” Vince moaned. “Feels so good. Love the way you feel.”

Howard wanted to shush him. The chance of being caught flittered through his head but was quickly replaced by white hot pleasure as Vince stroked him again, twisting his hand at the tip. This wasn't going to last very long.

He didn't want to come before Vince, though, so he shifted, wanting to get a better position so he could move his hand more freely. Vince seemed to understand him and let go of Howard and instead moved his hands up to bracket his face. It brought them closer together and Howard reached up to kiss him.

“Oh Howard,” Vince moaned into the kiss when Howard was finally able to start moving his hand properly.

The idea that he was the reason Vince sounded so breathless with pleasure made lust pulse through him. He bucked up, needing some friction, and his cock rubbed against his own hand where it was stroking Vince. In a moment of clear, tactical thinking under extreme circumstances that was surely worthy of a medal, he realised he could take them both in his hand.

“Fuck,” Vince hissed when he opened his hand to bring them both into his fist.

“Vince,” he hissed, feeling almost unbearably turned on by the sensation of their cocks sliding together.

He needed more, and craned up for another kiss and started to move his hand faster. They were both panting and groaning into the kiss until it was too much. Vince pulled back from the kiss and rested his forehead against Howard’s. When Howard managed to open his eyes, he found Vince looking down at him.

“I wanna see you,” Vince whispered. “Wanna see what you look like when...”

That was all he needed. He screwed his eyes shut and was coming so hard his whole body locked up.

“Fuck,” Vince hissed, stilling and following him over the edge.

Howard seemed to come for an age, his limbs making aborted little jerks of pleasure. He panted through it before Vince collapsed on top of him, breath hot and heavy on his neck.

“Bloody hell,” Vince said, the laughter back in his voice. “That was genius.”

Howard wasn't sure he'd ever regain the power of speech. So instead he just nodded dumbly and dropped a kiss on Vince’s head. There was a sticky patch currently being smeared between them where they lay, but he couldn't bring himself to move. He felt more relaxed and happy than he could ever remember being.

His eyes were starting to droop when Vince lifted himself off of Howard. He opened his eyes in confusion but Vince just grabbed one of Howard’s vests to wipe them both down before climbing back into the bunk. He thought that was probably disgusting and he'd regret it later, but he was too sleepy and relaxed to voice his thoughts. Instead he fell asleep with a little smile and Vince tucked up against him.

—-

He woke slowly the next morning. His limbs still seemed to be humming with a gentle pleasure. Vince was snoring on his shoulder.

He froze. The night before suddenly seemed terrifying and huge. What had happened? What did it mean? What was going to happen now? He was just starting to work himself up into a panic when Vince stirred next to him.

“Morning,” Vince said and kissed him softly on the lips. When they pulled back, Vince was beaming at him. His fear dimmed, as it always did in the face of the beauty of that smile.

Vince continued to smile shyly at him as he got ready and Howard’s heart felt so full that he wasn’t sure what to do with all of the emotions swirling in his chest.

“You should leave,” he found himself saying without realising he was going to.

Vince froze. “What?”

Howard swallowed. “The war’s coming, Vince,” he said, trying to sound reasonable, trying to work some authority into his voice. “You shouldn't be here when it arrives. I can't protect you and-”

“I ain't leaving without you, Howard,” he said. “There’s no way, so you can bugger off if you think I’m going anywhere.”

He felt a bit desperate. “Vince, please-”

“Shut it, Howard,” Vince said, his voice going cold and hard. “You’re going to be late.”

He didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t an unusual feeling when it came to Vince he realised, but this time it felt even worse. There must be some way to convince him. But he’d never seen Vince look so annoyed or closed off before and he really was going to be late.

The night lingered in his mind, a perfect moment he was already sure they'd never be able to recapture. He nodded his head and left the room, Vince not meeting his eye as he did.

He thought about ways to convince Vince he should leave as he stood to attention and didn’t listen to Fossil drone on about being prepared for when they were called to the front. He needed agreement from his aunt. If there was really somewhere for him to go, Vince might change his mind. He ducked out and managed to scrawl a note to her before heading off to his work. He couldn’t be sure it would even reach her, not with everything being diverted to the war effort, but it was worth trying at least.

Vince was a little cold with him when they started the day. Howard felt caught between terror that he’d never smile at him again, and trying to make himself believe that it would better if he didn’t. Maybe if Vince didn’t care about him anymore he might leave. That would be the heroic thing to do, the non-selfish thing. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn’t bear the thought of it. He couldn’t have even before the previous night, but now there was no way.

As the day worn on, Vince’s mood began to thaw. Howard stayed too close to him, not quite able to touch him, but his hands itched to. Eventually he was able to start a little song about the wood they were chopping. Vince wasn’t able to resist joining in, although he glared at him after it was done.

“Don’t try and suck up to me with a song, Moon,” he huffed. But there was a little smile on his face as he said. Howard took that to be a good sign and allowed himself to stand closer and even chanced a few little touches throughout the rest of the afternoon. Vince was soon back to grinning up at him, his cheeks rosy with delight.

It made Howard’s chest flutter. He realised that Vince had always enticed that reaction from him. But now he was able to identify it. It was a strange mix of excitement and pleasure, but also, under that was a new feeling. Anticipation. It made heat pool low in his belly. Not that he knew how to act on the feeling. He still wasn’t sure what any of the previous night had meant. Perhaps it was some form of comfort after Vince had been afraid. Maybe it was just some fun. He didn’t know and was sure that examining it too closely wouldn’t help him feel better about it.

That didn’t stop him from hoping it might happen again. He couldn’t help but stand a little too close to Vince while they worked. It was like he couldn’t seem to get close enough, every touch and look seemed heightened and heavy.

Did everyone feel like this after they entered into a physical relationship? No wonder people wrote about it ceaselessly. It was impossible to think about anything else. He couldn’t have written anything that didn’t revolve around the angle’s of Vince’s face, or line of his collarbone if he’d tried. That was assuming he could sit still long enough to put a pen to paper, which he seriously doubted.

He wondered if Vince felt the same, he couldn’t be sure; personal space had never much seemed to matter to him. But he was close by for the rest of the day, slowly driving Howard out of his mind. Every movement, every look and brush of contact made it feel as though he was being wound tighter and tighter. Vince didn’t seem as affected, he continued his usual stream of chatter, but Howard found it hard to follow. He found himself watching the shapes formed by his mouth or the delicate rise and fall of his shoulders.

“Alright, Howard?” Vince had asked suddenly towards the end of the afternoon.

Howard blinked, realising that he’d been staring but with no clue as to what Vince might have been saying. He blinked rapidly and tried to think of something to say to recover, when he noticed that the other man was grinning at him. There was a glint in his eye, private and pleased but also very knowing. Howard felt his face heat.

“Back to work,” he snapped, looking away.

“Yes sir!” Vince turned to continue his task, but Howard didn’t miss the huge grin or slightly flirtatious way he said it.

He felt a smile pulling at his mouth and tried valiantly to continue with his work.

They continued to not quite be able to be more than five foot away from each other all day. Half way through their allotted tasks at Eleanor’s she called Howard into the kitchen. He couldn’t seem to stop his hand from reaching out to run over Vince’s arm as he left. The other man grinned up at him in response.

“Well,” Eleanor said, looking him up and down, “someone seems mighty pleased with themselves today.”

Howard froze before forcing himself to stand straight and square his jaw. “I’m not sure what you mean, madam.”

“Oh please,” she said with a sly look, “that boy’s been ready to drop his pants for you since the day you met him. Only now it looks like you might have let him.”

Heat rose to his cheeks, he opened his mouth to say something damning or offer a denial. But nothing came.

Eleanor laughed, a genuine sound of amusement. “I knew it! Well, it takes all sorts. I will enjoy considering this at some length, something to warm the nights.”

“I’m leaving,” he managed, fumbling backwards to the door. Her laughter followed him out of the room.

She continued to smile knowingly at him for the rest of the evening. Vince kept shooting him strange looks when he’d blush or drop things as she walked by, terrified she’d say something in front of Vince. He didn’t know how the other man would feel about their secret being out.

They walked back to the base in silence, Vince hovering at his elbow. Howard jammed his hands deep into his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to draw the other man near. Vince snuck around the back while Howard entered the front.

He was waylaid by Fossil who wanted to berate him about the progress of the trenches. He bit down on his intense desire to point out that it was the work of two men and Howard was the only one at the base that actually did any work anyway. There was no point and it would only delay his getting to Vince. He stared straight ahead, concentrating on a point just over Fossil’s shoulder until he was dismissed.

He tried not to actually run to his room, but he was barely through the door before Vince was striding across the room towards him.

“About time,” he said, stalking right into his personal space. “I’ve been going out of my mind all day.”

Vince grabbed the front of his coat and pulled him down into a hard kiss. Any words died on his lips and all thought flew from his mind. His hands went straight to Vince’s hair.

Apparently last night had been neither a fluke nor a one a time thing. He felt relieved and then immediately almost impossibly excited. He let his hands wander down until they were gripping Vince’s arse and pulled him closer. Vince groaned into the kiss. They continued to kiss for a few minutes until Vince pulled back and panted against his lips.

“Get this uniform off,” he huffed. “I been thinking about what’s under it all day and I’m going to explode if I can’t touch you soon.”

Lust shot right down to Howard’s toes and he began fumbling with the fastenings of his shirt. Vince was busy working on his own clothes and they were soon naked and staring at each other. He hadn’t been able to see much the night before, and his eyes drank in the other man. He was pale and made entirely of sharp angles. Howard couldn’t look away from him, the very slight curve of his stomach and the hollows of his hips. He stepped forward, desperate to place his thumbs in them.

Vince met him halfway and Howard gasped at the feeling of their skin touching. He leant down to capture the other’s man mouth in a kiss, hungry for more. Vince’s hands fluttered over his body, as though unsure where he wanted to touch first.

“Bunk,” Vince muttered after a few moments.

They made their way there, but neither seemed keen on parting to do so. Howard ended up on his back with Vince over him. He gasped and arched up against him. Their cocks brushed and his eyes rolled back in his head at the pleasure of it. He felt like this had been building between them all day, like perhaps the day itself was just a pause between when they were in this position.

Vince pushed down his hips in a circular motion that made Howard's toes curl. Then he was gone, moving down the bed. Howard only had a few moments to feel bereft and wonder what was going to happen before Vince had taken him into his mouth. He gasped in surprise and then groaned at the feeling of wet heat surrounding him. The feeling was so intense he wasn’t sure what to do with any of his limbs, he gripped the flimsy blanket under his hands. Vince started to move up and down his cock, his tongue circling around the head before slowly sliding back down.

Howard’s mind fled, his whole world focusing down to the singular feeling of Vince’s mouth. The others man’s hands moved to cup his balls and Howard’s eyes flew open. He tried to sit up, suddenly desperate to see what Vince was doing. The other man looked up at him through his fringe and Howard groaned low and deep. He realised he wasn’t going to last long, the feeling was simply too intense.

“Vince,” he hissed, trying to warn him.

The other man looked up again and seemed to understand. He pulled off Howard and crawled up his body to kiss him hard. Howard groaned into the kiss. He had never been so desperate to come in his entire life. He took them both into his hand again.

“Howard,” Vince whispered, bucking into his hand.

Howard groaned low at the expression on Vince’s face. His eyes were screwed shut, his mouth open to emit little pants. Howard’s hand seemed to speed up automatically. He leant up to kiss Vince hard, to swallow the noises they were both making.

“Fuck, Howard!” Vince breathed again and was coming between them.

The feeling of Vince’s cock pulsing between them pushed Howard into his own orgasm. “Vince,” he breathed, trying to pull the other man closer as he came.

“I love you,” Vince muttered, nuzzling into Howard’s neck.

Howard dropped a kiss onto his head and pulled him close. He was breathless and exhausted and overwhelmed. He ran his hands down Vince’s back as he slowly came back to Earth, his toes uncurling and his breath began to slow.

Vince crawled off of him and cleaned them off. Howard opened his arms as Vince came back into the bunk and settled down against his side

“Thank you,” Howard whispered, unsure what else to say.

Vince huffed a laugh and kissed Howard’s chest. “Night Howard.”

“Night Vince,” he whispered, his eyes already dropping shut.

\----

The days started to drag after that. Howard felt as though he were enduring them until the evening came and he could get Vince alone. They never spoke about it. There was none of the romantic declarations that Howard had expected to accompany those sorts of encounters. Vince continued to say the words sometimes, but otherwise they remained much the same as they had before they started.

Howard suspected that the situation wasn’t really sustainable. But he wasn’t sure what to do about it. There was simply no way he could express the words that explained how he felt. Everything seemed inadequate and small in comparison. Vince was not just a friend nor a lover. But what that made him he didn’t know. If he could just have a little more time, some space to consider and come up with the perfect form of words, he would express them. But, until then, the words remained tangled and stuck in his chest. He would look at the other man and all words would flee in the face of the beautiful colour of his eyes or the slightly bashful way he’d smile up at him when he caught Howard staring at him while they worked.

The days rolled by slowly as winter came closer until one day Howard was waylaid on his way back into the base from the bakery. Vince had been teasing him all day with gentle touches and small smiles. He was desperate to get to the room and was only not running through a Herculean effort.

“Moon!” Someone called as soon as he entered. His head snapped up and over to where Tommy was sitting in the corner of the room. He balled his hands into fists and tried not to actually growl at the interruption.

Tommy was perhaps the only other man on the base that Howard didn’t activity dislike. He was an odd man, with a wide head and a haunted look in his eyes. He was prone to long rambling flights of fancy that were very nearly philosophical, but didn’t quite make sense. Perhaps if Howard were younger or had been slightly more naive he would have hung off his every word. He reluctantly walked over to the older man. “Yes?”

“Got a letter,” the other man said slowly.

Howard’s heart leapt. His aunt, she must have written back. He reached out to take the envelope.

Tommy moved his hand back. “You should be careful, Moon,” he said slowly. “Caring too much gets you killed.”

Howard’s stomach dropped. What did he know? Had he read the letter and somehow knew about Vince? “That’s not what I’m worried about,” he lied. “Can I have my letter?”

Tommy handed it over and Howard was relieved to see that it was still sealed. It was a guess then. He stuffed it into his pocket and turned on his heel.

“Night Moon,” Tommy said. “Have a good one.”

Howard froze, wondering if there was something more implied in the words but decided staying quiet was the best option regardless. He walked quickly from the room and as soon as he was out of sight, he quickly tore into the letter. It was only a few lines, expressing pleasure that Howard had finally written and that she would try her best to find work for his friend. There was some more about his mother, but he couldn’t bring himself to read it. He stuffed the note back into his pocket, relief flooding him. Now he just had to convince Vince. Surely it was be easier now there was a plan. He'd talk to him, just as soon as he was in the room.

He wrapped his hand around the letter in his pocket as he opened the door, braced to speak as soon as he was inside. Only Vince was leaping to his feet before he’d even managed to close the door and walking over to him. They kissed. Howard let go of the letter in his pocket. He’d talk to him later, perhaps when they were getting ready to sleep.

He stuffed the letter into his bag as they stumbled to the bunk and promptly forgot about it.

He continued to forget about it or fail to find the right time to mention it over the next week. Everything seemed to have become background to Vince’s hands or his mouth. Even the winter as it continued to roll in and the war that continued to rage ever closer. Sometimes he would remember them and feel a pang of anxiety. He’d ball his fists and resolve to say something. But then when he was actually alone with Vince those thoughts would fade. Nothing seemed like it could really matter all that much when they were together. Vince’s laugh or gentle teasing eased his fears and made him forget his resolve.

——-

He was jolted awake one morning by a sneeze. He jerked up just as Vince sneezed again and rubbed at his nose. “I think I’m getting sick,” he groused and sniffed.

Fear rose in Howard's chest. He hated it when people got sick. His mind always leapt back to his mother, to how powerless he’d felt as he watched her slowly waste away.

He reached out quickly and placed a hand on his forehead. It was hard to tell in the cold of the room, but he did seem a little warm. “How long have you felt ill?”

Vince shrugged. “A couple of days,” he said and sniffed again.

“You should go back to sleep,” he said immediately.

Vince frowned at him. “I’m fine,” he said, pushing off Howard’s hand. “It’s just a cold.”

His mother had insisted it was just a little cold right up to the point she was dead. Howard bit down on the rant he wanted to deliver. “You’re no good to me ill,” he said, trying to sound firm. “Get some sleep. I’ll be fine for a day.”

“Really?” Vince said, he looked tired now Howard was looking for it. He thought he might even be able to detect some relief.

He felt a swell of pride at having figured out that the other man needed looking after. “Yeah,” he said. “Get some rest and I’ll see you later.”

There was a silently strange moment as they parted, once Howard was up and ready to leave the room. He paused, unsure what he ought to do. The moment hung between, heavy with something Howard couldn’t identify. He wanted to reached out and touch Vince, to have a moment of connection before he left, wasn’t sure how. So instead he nodded and turned to walk away.

He felt disappointed the moment the door closed behind him, already wishing Vince were with him. He scowled at himself. He needed to pull himself together. He was turning softer by the day. At this rate he wouldn’t survive the winter.

The day dragged by. He was cold and irritable. The town seemed to have blinked back into focus without Vince at his side. It was grey and miserable. He wondered how he’d been able to stand it before he’d met Vince. He couldn’t seem to imagine it now. He’d have to learn, of course. Once Vince was gone he would need to find a way not to go mad. Perhaps they could write to each other. The thought was bleak, but he’d make do.

Eleanor laughed when he explained why he was alone and he suspected he was being mocked, but didn’t give her the satisfaction of asking her to confirm it. He worked quickly, wanting the work to be done sooner than even normal. She disappeared and left him to it, which he was grateful for. His mind was on Vince, wondering if he was okay, caught between berating himself for worrying and conjuring images of Vince pale and sweaty, like his mother.

He pulled his coat on as soon as the last job was done, and walked to the door. Eleanor came out of the kitchen to meet him. “Here,” she said, placing two parcels into his hand. “Give this to your little man,” she said, pointing to the one on the bottom. “I baked it especially for him.”

“Oh,” he said. “You didn’t need to do that.”

She waved him off. “It’s an old recipe, it’ll make him hardy if he’s sick.”

“Thank you,” Howard said with a nod of his head, feeling a bit embarrassed by the interaction and unsure how to express his gratitude properly.

He ate his pie on the walk back, deciding that he could drop the other to Vince before heading to the evening debrief. Vince was sound asleep when he arrived.

Howard paused, watching him for a few moments. He felt at once soothed by how peaceful he looked and disappointed he wasn’t awake. He’d never felt like he was so reliant on someone else for his mood, his very happiness, before. It left him feeling elated and terrified.

He turned and hurried from the room, not wanting to dwell on his thoughts and what they may mean. They lingered, though, through the rest of the evening. By the time he was heading back to the room, he felt almost irritable with anticipation.

“What’s this, Howard?” Vince demanded, as soon as he was inside the room.

Howard paused, confused by Vince’s tone. Fear rose in his chest. He wasn’t used to Vince looking annoyed; it made him feel panicked and wrong footed. He looked down at the object in the other man’s hand. It was the pie he’d left next to the bed earlier, or at least the remains of one. He frowned and peered closer at it. Vince had obviously bitten into it, judging by the broken crust. He blinked and had to double check that he wasn’t seeing things. But no. Inside was a perfectly formed, but very dead, bird, complete with feathers and beak.

“What the hell?” he exclaimed, stepping closer.

“What’s Eleanor playing at?” Vince asked.

Howard frowned down at it. “I don’t know,” he said. “She’s pretty old, maybe she’s just losing her touch?”

“Or she’s trying to tell us something,” Vince said. “Maybe she’s trying to scare me off you.”

Howard felt himself blush. “I highly doubt that, Vince.” Although there was a small part of him that remembered her little smirk as she handed him the pie. “It’s probably just a little prank. I’ll talk to her.”

“Well, either way,” Vince said, shrugging, “that is rank and I ain’t eating it. It’s enough to put me off pies for life.”

“Fair enough,” Howard said. “But, I don’t have anything else to give you. So, you’ll have be hungry until tomorrow.”

Vince frowned down at his hands for a moment. “Maybe I can eat around it…”

Howard couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him.

Vince looked up, mock outraged look plastered across his face. “Oi! It ain’t funny, your friend is trying to poison me. I could have died. What if it was still alive and flew out and hit me in the eye or something?”

“Then I would have avenged your death,” he said, wondering if he looked as fondly indulgent as he felt.

Vince sniffed indignantly. “Fine, but you should make it up to me after I’m done.”

“Yeah?” Howard asked, leaning forward and trying his best to look rakish and enticing. “How might I do that?”

“Oh,” Vince said with a grin of his own, “I’m sure you’ll come up with something.”

They didn’t get much sleep that night, but Howard thought it was well worth the bawling out he got the next morning for falling asleep at the morning drill.

\------

Vince insisted he was able to work the next day and, despite Howard’s fears was back to full health by the end of the week. The days fell into a sort of pattern. Howard felt happy and more alive than he ever had before.

The letter stayed in his bag by his bunk; there never seemed a good moment to bring it up. They were busy whenever they were alone and whenever he went to say something during the day Vince would do something to change his mind. He’d smile at Howard or mention something they could do together in the future and Howard didn't have the heart to make him realise that it wasn’t going to happen. He knew there was going to be a fight when he finally brought up the letter and he wanted to avoid it for as long as possible. Ever the coward. But he thought he deserved this moment of happiness. Surely they both did. He could wait a few weeks.

Eleanor had laughed uproariously at her telling off about the bird pie. “A little joke,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I needed to see if he’s made of stern enough stuff to look after all your needs. Can’t have him fainting or going off the rails at the slightest thing.”

“Our deal was clear,” Howard said, trying to draw himself up. “If we can’t eat the food, there’s no point in us coming here.”

“Alright, alright, calm down.” She waved him off with a bored look. “It was just a little joke, no need for me to replay it.”

They were more careful with the food after that, just to be sure. But she seemed to be true to her word. Howard felt himself relax the longer they continued to go without incident. He began to forget even the threat of the ever moving war. Fossil had somehow managed to make sure they remained overlooked and there continued to be no sign of Bainbridge. The fear began to dim as things continued relatively normally, but for the weather which continued to get colder. Soon they wouldn’t be able to do much of anything outdoors, which would make it harder to conceal Vince, but he was certain they would navigate that when the time came.

The physical aspect of his and Vince’s relationship also showed no signs of slowing. They spent their nights wrapped together, exploring each other’s bodies. Howard continued to be amazed at the heights they were able to reach together. Every new sensation, every new sound he coaxed from Vince, seemed as amazing as the last.

As they lay together afterwards, they’d talk, about their pasts and hopes for the future. Howard let himself start to believe it might even possible. It seemed like it was with Vince so close. At first they talked of small things, like how it would be nice to see some sun or walking to the next town for the day.

But, Howard tried to lift them up, tried to suggest the adventures they could go on. He had always thought he might be a great explorer when he was younger. Perhaps they could go together. Fossil might even let them come the summer, if he promised to share the glory with him of whatever they might discover.

Vince seemed game for all of it, whatever the size of the suggestion. He even began putting forward his own suggestions for what they’d do when it started to get warmer.

It made Howard feel like he wasn’t alone anymore. No one seemed to have thought any of his dreams were even possible before Vince. He suspected Vince felt the same, he said as much one night after they’d spent the evening making plans to find the Egg Muntumby; something Fossil would periodically mention was lost near the base.

“When I’m with you,” Vince said, looking at Howard intently, “it feels like I can see the future.”

“Careful,” Howard said, nudging him and trying not to smile, “talk like that with looks like yours, people will start thinking you’re a witch.”

Vince shoved him back. “You know what I mean! Not the actual future, but like…” He paused, his face screwed up in concentration. “Like, there is a future. Like beyond the next meal or place to sleep, you know? I ain’t ever had that before. There didn’t seem to be any point.”

Howard felt something unfurl in his chest, something he didn’t even know he could experience. He felt warm and connected. He nodded, not sure how to express his feelings.

But, he’d thought about that moment afterwards. He’d even written a poem, trying to explain how he’d felt when Vince had said those words. Like someone had reached into his head, perhaps his actual soul, and plucked his own thoughts out to repeat them back to him. That memory was what held his tongue when he wanted to tell Vince about the letter. He was selfish, but he wanted to keep that feeling for a little longer.

It also made him able to think of little else than when they’d be alone again. His preoccupation with Vince and eking out their time together, was probably why everything seemed to sneak up on him before he had the chance to prepare for it.

He didn’t think much of it, when Vince complained one morning that he had nothing clean to wear, given his propensity to clean them both up with whatever piece of clothing might be nearest.

“I think I have a spare vest in my bag,” Howard said vaguely. His mind was still on the previous night, of where his fingers had been and the noises Vince had made at their every flex. He was wrapped in the warm and intoxicating embrace of the memory when Vince’s voice startled him.

“What’s this?” he said slowly, as he stood up, taking in the contents of the piece of paper in his hand.

Howard realised with a jolt it was the letter from his aunt. “Vince don’t-” he started, suddenly feeling terrified. He needed to explain, but he could see Vince’s expression morphing from confused to hard and angry as he continued to read.

“What is this Howard?” he said slowly, looking up to meet his eyes.

“I just… it’s just a letter from my aunt,” he started, not sure how to explain now he was confronted with Vince’s reaction and the reality of what he was suggesting.

“Is this your way of trying to get rid of me again?”

Vince was really angry, he realised. It made his throat tight with fear. He’d never seen such a hard look on the other man’s face before. “No, I-” he started.

“Then what is it?” Vince demanded again.

Howard shook his head, not sure what he was denying given it was actually true. “I wrote to her, I thought if you had somewhere to go, you might-.”

“You think I’d hear about the slightest chance of a roof over my poor, orphan head and immediately abandon you?” There was something like fury in his eyes and Howard had no idea how to respond. There was a long silence before Vince took a step toward him, his eyes focused and hard. “Do you love me, Howard?”

Howard’s heart leapt to his throat, his chest becoming tight with panic. “What sort of question is that?”

“One that you should answer,” Vince said, his jaw tight and arms folded. “Why do you never say it?”

“I’ve done nothing but take care of you,” he said, feeling desperate and afraid. “I’ve worked double the hours of any man here to bring you pies every day.”

“But why won’t you just say it?” Vince demanded. “Why won’t you just say the words?”

Howard honestly didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t seem to make them form. It wasn’t like he hadn’t considered it when Vince whispered them to him at night. They just seemed so huge, so laden with meaning, that he couldn’t. Loving someone meant weakness, it meant that he would never be able to let Vince go. And he had to. Vince would most likely die once the war reached them and Howard needed him safe. So the words remained trapped, heavy and huge in his chest. Buried under layers of fear and shame. He shook his head.

“Vince,” he started, but with no idea what to say after that.

“If you don’t want me, Howard, you could have just said that,” Vince’s eyes were shining now, a look of frustration and hurt replacing the anger. “I don’t need you to look after me if you don’t even care about me.” He paused, waiting for Howard to speak, but there was nothing he could say. Surely he’d made his intentions and feelings clear over the last few months. Why did everyone always need Howard to speak? Why did that change anything? “You know what?” Vince suddenly burst out. “I don’t need this. I’ve been waiting for you, Howard, I thought it didn’t matter that you couldn’t say it back because at least we’d still be together. I thought we were a team. But you don’t even want me here.”

“Vince,” Howard said, a little sound, hardly above a whisper.

“What, Howard?” Vince said, arms crossed and eyes now defiant even though they shone wetly.

“I-” But there was nothing, the words were gone again in the face of the anger and hurt. He didn’t want Vince to go, but he really didn’t want him to stay and die either. It was an impossible situation and he didn’t know why Vince couldn’t see that.

The silence went on for a long time. “Okay,” Vince said softly. “Fine. See you around Howard.”

The other man was pulling on his clothes angrily and pushing by him out of the room before Howard even had a chance to react. He wanted to rush after him, but there wasn’t anything to say.

He needed time. If he could just figure out the right form of words, he’d be able to convince him that he just wanted him to be safe. He’d make the situation right, he just needed a little time to figure out how.

He swallowed past the lump in his throat and made his way to the door. He’d find him at lunch, he thought. As soon as he was done with his morning duties he’d find him and they’d talk and he’d find a way to make him understand.

He walked to the morning briefing in a daze. He tried to order his thoughts into some coherent words that he could relay to Vince. Perhaps he could say the words. If Vince understood how Howard felt then surely he’d understand why Howard needed him to leave. The idea was still as terrifying as ever… Maybe he could talk around them, great poems often didn’t use those words but they made their meaning clear nonetheless.

He stopped dead as he entered the mess. Bainbridge was back, his uniform still high-quality but looking somewhat the worse for wear since he was last at the base. Fossil was pale and small looking at his side.

“Gentlemen,” Bainbidge began, his chin pointed up. He looked impossibly smug and proud, like he couldn’t quite bare to look at them. “I bring you great news. Your time for valor and heroism is here. The war has finally arrived at your doorstep. You will be deployed this very day to help the war effort.”

Howard’s whole world seemed to tilt sideways, his vision swimming for a moment. Vince, he thought dimly. He’d have no chance to tell him he was leaving. He felt sick.

“You will be sent to meet the unit which is currently moving West to hold a bridge that has the potential to halt the movement of the enemy troops and turn the tide of this war. But you must leave today,” he said, looking for a moment almost concerned.

“Why?” Kodiak barked, his eyes narrowed and face a mask of indifference.

“There is a huge movement of troops,” Bainbridge was saying, his voice surprisingly, maddeningly calm. “They are less than fifty miles away and moving through the countryside. We expect them to reach the town by nightfall.”

“But,” Howard stuttered out, “what about the people in the town here?”

Bainbridge leveled him with a cold stare. “We’d suggest they leave or not put up a fight when the enemy arrives.”

“We’re just leaving them?” he found himself saying dumbly, confused and dazed.

“Did you think we’d be able to hold the town against a fully equipped army that’s crushed even the best units we havr?” Bainbridge sounded both mocking and angry. “We move out at fourteen-hundred hours. Dismissed.”

It felt like water was rushing in his ears. He stumbled to his feet, his chest tight and head swimming. Fear was clutching at his heart. Vince, he thought again. He’d have no idea what was coming. He was alone and vulnerable and Howard was trapped at the base.

 

tbc


	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kodiak just laughed. ”Proper love story we got here then.” He was playing with the rifle in his hands and Howard watched the barrel swing back and forth. “Why should I let you go, then? Jack don’t like deserters.”
> 
> Howard had never killed a man. Truth was, he'd never even shot at one. But he was feeling so desperate, so terrified, that his hand gripped his musket tightly, his muscles coiled to bring it up.
> 
> “Let us go, Jack, I mean it.” His voice sounded weak and scared, but he hoped it also sounded desperate enough to convey that he was capable of almost anything. He’d finally made a decision. They were leaving. Vince was with him and under his care, he wasn’t going to fail again. Whatever happened next, they were getting to the woods.

Chapter Four

Howard turned to leave the mess, his thoughts focused on Vince. On what would happen when the enemy arrived. No one even knew they were so close. They wouldn’t have the chance to prepare.

He’d taken only a couple of steps toward to door when a hand landed heavily on his shoulder. “Where you going, Moon? We need you in the storeroom to start packing up.” Kodiak was glaring at him, his grizzled face scrunched in annoyance.

Howard blinked ahead, trying to understand the words, his mind already plotting the most likely places Vince would have gone. “Yes,” he said, “of course. I'll go there now.”

He turned and left the room, walking quickly towards the storeroom. Then straight past it and out of the back door. He didn't pause, his eyes focused ahead. If he just kept walking with purpose maybe no one would stop him. That was the key, look like he had official business to do and people would assume he did. He balled his hands into fists, trying to alleviate the tension that was thrumming through his every nerve ending.

He waited until he was clear of the fence surrounding the base before breaking into a run. He started at the last place they'd been working, near the Doctor’s house. It was deserted. He then traced their normal route through town, but no one was there. The whole town seemed empty, like it was holding itself ready for what was about to happen.

His panic rose with every street he turned down that remained empty. He considered asking around but drawing attention to himself was too risky. He paused by the last trench they’d been digging, willing himself to think. He couldn’t seem to form any coherent thoughts. Everytime he tired, he just conjured an image of Vince helpless and trapped.

He was starting to feel a bit desperate until a thought occurred to him. He turned and hurried back down the street towards Fossil’s house. He snuck around the back, uncertain if Fossil might have come back to collect his personal effects.

His whole body seemed to relax and he entered the garden. Vince’s unmistakable form was sat crossed legged in front of Mrs Gideon’s makeshift grave, his head bowed.

“Vince,” he called, stepping close to him.

Vince startled and turned around, his eyes wide with surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“You need to leave,” Howard said, reaching out and taking his hand to pull him to his feet. “Now. They're coming and you can't be here.”

“What?” Vince said, his face immediately closing off and pulling his hand back. “I’ve told you, I ain’t going.”

“Vince,” Howard said, feeling desperate. “Please. I can't… I can’t lose you, please. They're planning on evacuating us to join up with another unit. I won't be able to… Please.”

Vince frowned. “You're leaving?”

Howard blinked, confused about why that was the part of his speech Vince had picked up on. “Yes, we’re moving out this afternoon. But you need to go now. If you're still here when they arrive-”

“You're going to fight?” Vince said, stepping closer.

“What?” Howard said. The thought hadn't even occurred to him. “I suppose so. They're regrouping to defend some bridge.”

“Well, then, I'm not leaving. If you're going to meet them then so will I. Maybe I can-”

“Vince!” Howard cut in. “You're going to die! This isn't a game. You have to leave.”

“Why do you even care?” Vince burst out. “This is my home. I've only ever known this town, I'm not going to leave it.”

“You know why!” Howard wanted to stamp his foot. “Please Vince. You know why.”

Vince stilled. “Do I?”

The panic in his chest was making him breathless. He took a step forward and tried to think of a way to make him understand, to show why he couldn't let anything happen to him. He thought about the other army moving toward the little town, he thought about the wreckage of war he’d seen over the years. He swallowed.

“I love you,” he said, slowly, having to form each word carefully. “Please, Vince. You can't stay here.”

Once the words were out of his mouth he felt everything relax. He loved him. He was in love with Vince. It didn't seem like something he'd known before he said it, but at the same time it was as clear as any universal truth he'd ever known. They were in love with each other. Romantic love. Vince and Howard loved each other.

They couldn't die. Neither of them could die when something so amazing had just been revealed to him.

Vince was looking at Howard with wide eyes. But for once Howard didn't need to struggle to find the words. He stepped forward and took him by the shoulders and kissed him. A sure press of lips. When he pulled back he said, “I'm in love with you and I'm getting you out of here. We need to leave right now.”

“Okay,” Vince said, easily. Like he was agreeing to a quick cup of coffee and not fleeing from two opposing armies through Russia with winter pressing in.

“Okay?” he repeated. “That's it?”

Vince rolled his eyes. “What did you expect? I already told you I loved you and that we ought to leave. This is my idea, you're just a bit slow on the uptake.”

There was a lot he could say to that, but none of it was going to make them move any faster. So he shrugged his shoulders. “Fine, let's just get a move on.”

He took Vince's hand in his own and they left the little garden together.

“Where we going?” Vince asked, seemingly content to be tugged along in Howard’s wake.

“We need supplies and food if we’re going on the run,” he said, then swallowed his own dread at the words.

They’d probably never really be able to stop running. But at least they’d be together. Or they would be until Vince got bored of him. They’d only known each other a few months. This was clearly madness. He gripped the other man’s hand tightly at the thought. But he wasn’t about to back out now, Vince being alive and leaving him was better than him being dead.

They made it back to the base and into Howard’s room without incident. Howard began to pack his bag, taking the blankets and various meager supplies all Russian recruits were given when they signed up. It was a bit pathetic, but it would have to do. Perhaps they’d find something else on the way.

He supposed making their way to his aunt’s would make the most sense, he’d just have to hope that she didn’t have strong feelings about deserters. He wasn’t entirely sure on the direction, but he guessed south was as good a way to go as any.

Vince was looking at him a bit anxiously and he paused. “It’ll be alright, little man,” he said, trying to sound sure. His voice came out a bit shaky which was embarrassing.

“Yeah,” Vince agreed with a nod. “I just want to get a move on.”

“Okay, but we should stop by the storeroom,” Howard said. “There might be something useful there.”

They walked quickly, looking about nervously as they went. It would be clear at only a glance what their plan was; they were laden down with blankets and bags for one thing.

“Shout if you hear anyone coming,” Howard whispered before ducking into the storeroom. It was a depressing sight; their rations were down to virtually nothing and what equipment there once was had been ‘claimed’ by the other men over the years. He stood for a moment before going to the practically untouched stack of books towards the back of the room. There was a map of the local area which might be useful and a slim book about survival. He tucked them both into his bag and was just turning to some of the tools which hadn’t already been sold or stolen when Vince appeared around the door.

“Howard!” he hissed. “Someone’s coming.”

Howard nodded, his heart starting to hammer and hurried back to the door. “Come on,” he said, nodding to the door at the back of the base.

“Moon?” someone shouted from behind them. It was Fossil, he was sure, but he didn’t turn around to check, they continued their half run toward the door. “Moon, you shit storm, get back here.”

All hope of them being able to make a get away under the radar had vanished. There was really only one option left. “Run,” he said to Vince.

He took the other man’s hand and they sprinted toward the open door.

“Deserter!” Fossil shrieked behind them. “Someone stop them!”

They barrelled out of the door and across the base. Howard, having longer legs, ended up mostly dragging Vince behind him. They were silent as they ran towards town. “This way,” Howard shouted, tugging Vince into an alley. “We’ve got one more place to go.”

He couldn’t be sure if and how quickly they were being followed, so he continued to run until his lungs were burning and his legs ached with the effort. He reached the back door of the bakery and stopped to gasp for a few seconds before knocking urgently. There were a few agonising moments of silence before the door creaked open to reveal Eleanor. She stared at them for a few moments. Howard was sure she was going to slam the door on them, but instead she stepped back.

“So, you’re finally leaving then,” she said, raising an eyebrow at them.

“We need food.” Howard’s voice had a slightly begging quality but there was no time for self respect at this stage. They needed supplies or they weren’t going to last more than a couple of days.

She sighed heavily. “I suppose if they're coming there won’t be much call for pies anyway.” She gestured for them to follow her and they hurried inside and into her storeroom.

“I’m gonna check out front in case Fossil figures out where we’ve come,” Vince said, hurrying by them. Howard had a moment to be impressed at his quick thinking; half the town knew where Howard spent his evenings, even if they didn’t know exactly why.

Once they were alone Eleanor reached up to her shelves and handed him some bread and a couple of pies.

“I haven’t got much,” she said, with a shrug. “The supplies haven’t been coming and this was the last of what I’ve been able to make today.”

Howard didn’t know how to express the gratitude he felt. “You should leave,” he said, meeting her eyes. “Get out before they arrive.”

“My darling boy,” she said, her voice level and eyes firm. “There isn’t anywhere for me to go. But don’t worry; old Eleanor still has some tricks up her sleeves for when they arrive.”

“You haven’t seen it,” Howard said, desperation rising in his throat. “Please, don’t stay here.”

She shook her head. “I was always going to die here, not like you and your little man. I’m old, maybe it’s time.”

Howard opened his mouth, words pressing against his chest, pleas, but Vince opened the door again. “Howard,” he hissed, “they’re coming, we’ve got to go.”

“I’ll see if I can hold them up for a moment. Good luck, Howard Moon,” she said, stepping forward and planting an unwelcome kiss on his lips. “Think of me, won’t you?” Then she was out of the shop and closing the door firmly behind her.

“Howard,” Vince said, when he didn’t move, fear creeping into his voice, as he tugged on Howard’s hand, “there isn't time.”

Howard nodded and swallowed around the lump that had inextricably formed in his throat. “This way,” he said, hurrying out of the back door and into the little courtyard. There was a small gate that led them into a narrow alleyway between the houses. It would trap them if anyone thought to look, but it was still safer than the main road out of town.

There was shouting from the street out the front of the shop and Howard stopped walking and turned towards the noise. He thought he could hear a woman’s raised voice and his heart leapt to his throat.

“Please, Howard,” Vince said, tugging at his hand again. “She’ll be alright, she knows what she’s doing.”

It was the first time he’d ever heard Vince tell quite such an obvious bald face lie. But the fear etched across the other man’s face was enough to jolt him back into action and they hurried down the alley and away from the noise. Howard’s heart was racing and his guts churned. He tried not to imagine the scene he’d left behind. He hoped the army was too busy fleeing their enemy to bother with Eleanor, but their spite didn’t always come behind their survival instincts. He swallowed and gripped Vince’s hand tighter as they hurried away.

“We should head into the woods,” Vince said. “I know them pretty well and it’ll be easier to hide there than if we go along the roads.”

The idea filled Howard with dread but he had to admit that Vince was right. He only hoped that Vince wasn’t lying about his skills at surviving in the wild.

“It’s a shame the bears aren’t awake to help us,” Howard panted as they ran.

Vince gave him an odd look. “Yeah,” he said after a moment. “Although they don’t always like new people and it would be a shame if you got eaten just after you realise you love me.”

“I didn’t just-“ Howard began before cutting himself off. Now wasn’t the time. “I just wanted you to be safe,” he said in the end.

“That’s all I want,” Vince agreed and then frowned. “Only for you, not me.”

Howard felt impossibly fond of him for a moment before realising they needed to keep moving. “Come on,” he said. “Which way should we go into the woods?”

Vince nodded off towards the Doctor’s house. “Probably best to head that way, no one comes there on account of all the rubbish and it backs pretty much onto the trees.” Howard nodded his agreement and they took off running.

They were nearly at the edge of town, Howard could almost taste the freedom of it, when someone leapt out of the alley into their path. Kodiak was scowling and holding a rifle in his hand. Howard threw an arm out in front of Vince as they skidded to a halt and pushed him behind him.

“Now now,” Kodiak said. “What we got here? Someone making a dash now there’s a chance of a fight?”

Howard glared at him, even as his heart was smashing against his chest. He felt sick with fear. They couldn’t risk any more delays. Both armies were too close and they’d be caught in the crossfire if they didn’t leave.

“Leave off, Jack,” Vince snapped. “We’re getting out of here. This place is doomed and the war’s stupid. We ain’t gonna fight in it.”

Howard was oddly endeared by the way Vince seemed to think of them as being basically one person.

Kodiak just laughed. ”Proper love story we got here then.” He was playing with the rifle in his hands and Howard watched the barrel swing back and forth. “Why should I let you go, then? Jack don’t like deserters.”

Howard had never killed a man. Truth was, he'd never even shot at one. But he was feeling so desperate, so terrified, that his hand gripped his musket tightly, his muscles coiled to bring it up.

“Let us go, Jack, I mean it.” His voice sounded weak and scared, but he hoped it also sounded desperate enough to convey that he was capable of almost anything. He’d finally made a decision. They were leaving. Vince was with him and under his care, he wasn’t going to fail again. Whatever happened next, they were getting to the woods.

They all startled as shouts sounded behind them. Fossil and the others were getting closer. Kodiak’s eyes tracked over their shoulders.

“Please Jack,” Vince said suddenly. “We just want a chance at a life. You know as well us that if we stay, we’ll be dead by morning. We ain’t gonna win this war by staying.”

Kodiak’s eyes snapped to Vince. “You are too good for him,” he said, gesturing to Howard.

Vince tensed for a moment but Howard spoke before he could say anything. “I know that. But I’m going to make sure he’s alive and safe.”

Kodiak glowered at him. “If I were ten years younger…” The shouts were getting closer, any moment they were going to round the corner and see them all standing there.

Howard’s hand curled around his gun again, his heart hammering. There was a roaring in his ears.

“I’m coming with you,” Kodiak said suddenly.

Howard blinked, his hand was gripping his rifle so tightly that it took him a moment to unclench his fist.

“What?” Howard asked Just as Vince snapped, “No way!”

Kodiak glowered and lowered his rifle. “I’m coming, you could use me as an extra pair of eyes and I’m betting this idiot ain’t never fired a gun in his life.”

Howard puffed his chest and was preparing a very cutting response but Vince gripped his arm tightly. “Fine, but you so much as look at me funny and I’ll cut you up.”

Kodiak leered at him. “Talk like that don’t make that easy, boy,” he said. Howard stepped forward and Kodiak held his hands up placatingly. “But fine, Jack’ll keep his hands to himself.”

“Just until we’re away from here,” Howard said, starting to walk around him. “Once we hit the next big town, you’re leaving.”

Kodiak nodded his assent and then they were all running. For all he was still limping, Kodiak kept decent pace with them as they approached the Doctor’s house.

He’d left town a week before and the house was dark and quiet. Howard paused. “Maybe we should see if he left any medicine,” he said.

Vince looked at him and sighed. “They’re nearly here, Howard,” he said. “There’s no time.”

“It could be the difference between surviving the winter or not,” Howard said, feeling torn.

Kodiak huffed. “He can’t always be wrong, boy. You ever seen what an infection can do to a man?”

“Fine,” Vince sighed heavily and pulled Howard towards the door. “But we better be quick.”

Howard tried the handle. “It’s locked,” he said, looking over his shoulder.

Vince rolled his eyes and pushed him out of the way. “Hang on,” he said. There was some fiddling which Howard couldn’t quite make out and then the door swung open. Vince gestured grandly for Howard to go in.

“Boy’s got hidden skills,” Kodiak said making both the other men turn to glare at him. He just smirked and they turned to enter the house.

It was dark and cold inside. Howard wondered where the Doctor had gone, maybe he had a string of houses all over the country to flee to when danger got too close.

“He keeps the stuff in the back,” Vince said, pointing down the hall.

Howard didn’t bother to ask how he knew. Vince seemed to know everything about this town. They hurried down the corridor to the office. Howard stopped dead, his breath catching.

“You hear that?” he whispered.

“What?” Vince asked, just as the sound happened again. They all turned to look at the storeroom as one.

Kodiak lifted his rifle and pointed at the door. He gestured for Howard to open it and there was a silent standoff while Howard tried to convey what a terrible idea that was. In the end Vince sighed and moved to the door himself. Howard lifted his own gun at the door and was rewarded with a snort of derision from Kodiak for his effort.

Vince slowly opened the door and leapt back as it swung open. They gasped.

“Bloody hell,” Vince huffed.

Howard blinked, feeling almost dizzy with deja vu. Huddled inside were a group of people, mostly children and a collection of the elderly that Howard thought he recognised from around the town. At their head was the woman who always sat outside the Doctor’s door. She looked up at them definitely.

“Marjoram,” Vince said, “What are you doing here?”

Howard blinked, confused, before remembering that of course Vince knew everyone.

“Moon?” a voice from the back called and Howard squinted into the darkness.

“Tommy?” he said, confused. “Is there anyone actually left at the base?”

Tommy pushed forward, his large head unmistakable even before he was fully visible. He came to stand next to the old woman and placed a hand on her shoulder. “The war’s coming. Most of these people can’t get out. I would have taken them, but there’s just me and so many of them. We thought this place might be safe.”

“This is the first place they’ll come,” Howard said. “You can’t stay here.” He felt Vince beside him and thought of Fossil at the head of approaching troop and the army preparing to meet them a few miles away.

“There’s nowhere for us to go,” the old woman snapped at him.

Howard sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You don’t need to go far, they’ll probably move right through here, especially if there’s no one really here when they arrive. You could just go a few miles away and hide out until they leave.”

“I already told them that,” Tommy said. “But they are either too old or young to walk far without help. Besides, what if someone comes? I can’t protect them all.”

“We’ll help you,” Howard heard himself say. He wasn’t going to stand by again, not with Vince watching him. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did.

Vince turned to look at him, his face open and full of affection before turning back and saying, “Course we will!”

“You too, Kodiak,” Howard said, his voice hard. “Help those who need it to their feet.”

Kodiak narrowed his eyes but to Howard’s great surprise, didn’t actually argue. “What about Fossil?” he grunted after a moment. “We won’t be able to move these people fast enough to outrun him now.”

“We need a distraction,” Vince said. “I could-”

“No,” Howard said firmly, not sure what Vince was about to say but certain that he wasn’t going to like it. “It has to be me.”

Vince opened his mouth to argue but Kodiak spoke over him. “Moon’s right. It needs to be someone Fossil is actually looking for and Moon’s the fastest among us - comes from running from every fight, I should imagine.”

“This is a stupid idea,” Vince said, but Howard could tell that he knew they were right.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, reaching out to touch his arm briefly. “I’m a man of action, this is what I do.”

Vince looked sceptical. “What you do is stand around talking while I do the work, though,” he said, his voice nearly sounding teasing and not scared. “You ain’t really cut out for e-sponages.”

“I think you mean espionage,” Howard said, with a little grin he couldn’t have kept off his face if he tried. “I’ll be fine. You just help these people get out of here safely. And remember to take all the medicine that you can carry.”

There was a long moment where he thought Vince was going to argue. He traced the thoughts across the other man’s face. But in the end he just shrugged his shoulders with a scowl. “Fine, but if you die, I’ll never forgive you,” he said, before turning away and marching to the back of the little room.

Tommy was looking at him funny when he finally tore his gaze away from where Vince was looking at the bottles on the shelves. “What?” he snapped.

“Nothing,” Tommy said with a shrug. “You got a plan?”

“No,” Howard said. “But I’ll think of something. You just get people moving and I’ll make sure Fossil stays away from here.”

“We’ll meet you in the woods?” Tommy asked, his big face serious and focused. Howard was pleased he was there.

“Yeah,” Howard agreed. “But if… Don't wait if I’m not there in an hour. Just get everyone out of here. Vince included.”

Tommy nodded before giving him a salute and turning to help the people around him to their feet. There was a moment where Howard felt a bit queasy at the thought of what might happen when he left the house. He wanted to shout that he didn’t really mean it. If something happened to him, he wanted them to come back and get him. But it would rather ruin the only truly heroic moment he’d ever had to say it, so instead he walked out of the door.

By the time he was out of the house his hands were shaking. He knew Fossil was close-by, but he had no clue how to go about keeping him from the Doctor’s house.

He didn’t have to walk far until he could hear Fossil. He was shouting orders, half clearly delighted at bossing everyone around, half terrified about where they were being sent.

If only Bainbridge weren’t there, there was a very good chance that Howard could have convinced him to join them. Fossil wanted no part of any fight, but he knew for sure that he wouldn’t go against Bainbridge. He had an almost unhealthy control over the other man, and with both of them united, the rest of the troop would do whatever they wanted them to.

He ducked into an alley and watched with his breath held as they started to walk by him. His mind remained blank with terror for a moment and he stared around wildly, searching for inspiration. He looked down at his feet and paused. Maybe he could lead them on chase. He leant down and picked up a stone and threw it at the feet of a nearest soldier. He crouched down, ready to throw the next.

Nothing happened.

They continued to walk, getting closer to the Doctor’s. Howard’s heart felt frozen with terror and uncertainty. He should have asked the others to help him come up with a plan.

He sprang to his feet and ducked down the alley and raced as fast as he could to overtake them. He just made it back up the next alley as Fossil approached down the main street. He paused, mind still blank of ideas until Fossil was nearly in front of him. He didn’t think, he just moved, his muscles bunched in terror.

“Wait!” he called, stepping out from behind the side of the house, his hands above his head. “Don’t leave without me,” he continued, his mind trying desperately to catch up with his mouth and think of something to say.

“Good God, man,” Bainbridge snapped at him. “What are you doing?”

“I was just checking the town, seeing if anything was worth us taking. I-”

“Moon, you moron,” Fossil barked. “I saw you running out of the base with that beautiful woman. What happened, she leave you already?”

Howard swallowed, confused about Fossil’s mistake but unwilling to correct him. “Oh, err, yes,” he stuttered. “Yes, she took off with Tommy and Kodiak.”

“Those ball bags, I knew they’d run off.” Fossil looked ready to stamp his feet like a goblin from a fairytale.

“I can take you to them,” Howard said, suddenly. His mind was still mostly a roaring blank slate of terror but apparently his mouth had finally decided to do the work for him. “I know where they were going.”

Fossil scowled at him. “Hell hath no fury, eh, Moon, you giant tit box? We ain’t got time for that. We need to get the supplies from the Doctor's and get out of here.”

Howard remained still. He hadn’t managed to survive this long out here without learning to phase out Fossil’s insults. He held his tongue and willed Fossil to take the bait. “You can take two deserters with you to meet the other troops. That sort of thing has got to be worth some sort of reward, hasn’t it? Or at least some good will?”

“You’d betray your young woman and comrades so easily?” Bainbridge asked, his eyebrows rising as he spoke.

“Just as long as you promise nothing will happen to me for my moment of… madness,” he said. He could feel the angry eyes of the men behind Fossil and Bainbridge but he ignored them.

“Surely you aren’t such a pathetic coward?” Bainbridge said with no small amount of disgust.

“Moon’s exactly that sort of pathetic coward,” Fossil said, glaring at him. “But we ain’t got time for this, we should have left already.”

“Shut up, Fossil, you imbecile.” Fossil’s mouth snapped shut immediately. Bainbridge eyed Howard for a long moment. “Very well, Moon, take us to your friends and I’ll make sure your punishment is minimal.”

Howard nodded and looked back at Fossil. “It’s that way,” he said, pointing back down the street.

There was a beat of silence before Fossil huffed in anger. “Fine, but I get the pretty lady after you’re done with her,” Fossil groused at Bainbridge before turning to Howard. “Come on then,” he said. “Let’s go, Moon. Stay in front of us and keep your hands up so I can shoot you in the back if you try anything.”

Howard felt sick, not just in fear at his own actions, but also at the idea idea of what Fossil meant “having” in connection to Vince. He thought of Vince, of what might have happened had they not met and his knees felt almost weak for a moment. They trudged in silence back down the street and away from the Doctor’s. Howard wondered how long the others would need to get everyone out and away into the woods. He guessed at least half an hour. He hoped someone would think to stay close to the edge of the trees on the off chance he managed to get out of this alive, otherwise he’d have no chance of finding them.

“Where are we going, Moon?” Fossil said, kicking out at him and making Howard stumbled forward. He was off balance from having to keep his hands aloft and he almost went down to one knee before he managed to right himself.

“Not much further,” he said, with no idea where they were actually going or what he was going to do when they got there and that became clear.

He kept his pace as slow as he dared, his whole body thrumming with tension. They must have made a strange sight at the marched, Howard at the front, his face a grey mask of terror and the whole troop glaring furiously at him. They reached the bakery and Howard chanced a look over, hoping to catch a glimpse of Eleanor, to confirm that she was unharmed. Sure enough, she was standing in the window of the bakery. He felt some small part of him relax. He turned his head again, suddenly realising that it might not be good for her to see him.

“Howard?” Too late. He turned to see her coming out of the shop. “What the hell is going on? What is the meaning of this?”

“Get back in the shop, you old shrew,” Fossil snapped at her.

“Don’t take that tone with me, Robert,” she snapped. “I know all about you. Don’t think I won’t tell everyone why you’re really here. Let this man go immediately.”

Howard cringed and looked over at her, trying to convey that he had everything in hand and didn’t need any more of her help.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Fossil shrieked, for all the world seeming genuinely horrified.

“Move this woman back into her shop,” Bainbridge barked.

“If any of you brutes so much as touch me, you’ll get the whopping of your lives,” she called. She looked so fierce that for a moment no one moved.

“I gave you an order, men!” Bainbridge bellowed.

But at that moment there was crack of unmistakable gunfire from up ahead of them. Howard looked up and bile rose to his mouth. The other army was here. He could now hear the rumble of approaching machinery and heavy footfalls.

“They’re here!” Fossil shrieked.

“In line,” Bainbridge called. “Hold the line.”

Howard felt all his muscles coil and he moved before he had a chance to think. It was the only distraction he would get. He sprang forward before he’d even thought about it. He ran as fast as he could, barrelling into Eleanor and driving her backwards towards the shop. Everyone seemed to be shouting but he didn’t look back. He shoved at her until they reached the shop, he tripped over the doorstep as he pushed her back, which would have been embarrassing under any other circumstances. He turned and bolted the door with shaking hands.

There was more shouting from outside and then the sound of gunfire. They both fell to the ground as glass shattered above their heads.

“Well,” Eleanor said into the silence after it finally stopped. “That’s fucked it good and proper.”

Howard didn't see the point in agreeing. He looked over at her from where he'd dived to the ground. “What were you thinking?” he hissed. “You could have been killed.”

“So could you!” she huffed. “Oh come on,” she said as the shouting started again from outside. “We’d best be gone before they think to break through that door and hide in here with us.”

They crawled to the back of the shop. Eleanor picked up a bag that was leaning against the kitchen door. Howard looked at her quizzically. “A girl should always be prepared,” she said, before reaching behind the stove and pulling out a rifle. “Daddy always said to talk softly and carry a big gun.”

Howard nodded. “Smart man,” he managed.

“He was an idiot,” she said with a shrug. “Most men are, but he had the odd point here and there.” Howard watched, caught between confusion and awe as she loaded the rifle and cocked it. “Let’s go then.”

There was a crash from the front of the shop and another burst of gunfire. As one, they dashed for the back door. Then they were running, tracing their route back through town. Eleanor was not as tall nor nearly as fit as Howard and they had to stop a few times for her to catch her breath. Howard made sure they zig-zagged to try and keep out of sight in case the fighting was moving toward them.

He reached out to take hold of her hand and dragged her passed the Doctor’s house and round the back. They had to clamber through the rubbish which wasn’t dignified, but there was no way they were taking the longer route around it. Howard kept his eyes firmly on the tree line, not wanting to look back. Not daring to check if they were even being followed. He let out a breath as they reached the trees and slipped into their cover.

He didn't stop running, but he dropped Eleanor’s hand so they could both try and keep their balance as they crashed through the undergrowth. They came to a stop a few hundred meters into the trees and stood panting in the dappled light of the trees. Howard dropped his hands to his knees and bent over, wondering if he was going to be sick.

“Where is Vince?” Eleanor asked.

“I don’t-” Howard started but was cut off by a cry from behind him.

“Howard!” The voice was unmistakable, even though it was clouded with fear.

Howard turned around, his breath still heaving in his chest. Then Vince was there, colliding with him and wrapping his arms around him tightly. “I heard all the gunfire,” he whispered, from where he’d buried his head in Howard’s chest. “I thought…”

Howard ran a hand over his head and wrapped the other around his shoulders. “It’s okay, I’m fine,” he said, his breath still short.

“Don’t do that again,” he said, pulling back and punching Howard lightly on the arm. Then he turned to look over his shoulder and nodded at Eleanor. “Alright? Glad you decided to come after all.”

“My shop was rather caught up in a little firefight,” she said with a shrug. “Seemed like a good time to consider a new living.”

“We should keep moving,” Howard cut in, fear starting to creep back now he’d caught his breath.

Vince looked up at him, but didn’t release him from his grip. “I mean it,” he said firmly. “Don’t do that again, okay? It was genius but I think I aged about a hundred years.”

“Believe me,” Howard said, gently pushing the other man away so they could start walking, “I don’t intend to.” He realised his hands were shaking and balled them into fists.

“Moon,” Kodiak said, suddenly limping out of the trees, “see you ain't dead.” He paused. “See you got yourself a new girlfriend while you were gone. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Fuck off, Jack,” Vince said firmly, making both Howard and Kodiak smile. “Let’s go.”

Howard nodded and moved to take Vince’s hand and pull him along behind. Eleanor didn’t say anything about their new arrival, but she eyed him suspiciously for a moment before she fell into step behind them. “Where we going?” he asked after a moment.

“There are some caves not too far away,” Vince said. “The bears don’t use them any more because they’re too close to town and people would sometimes kill them while they slept. But, they should be okay for a night or so.”

They moved slowly. The light was starting to dip before they reached the rocky outcrop Vince had described. Eleanor gasped with surprise and apparent delight at seeing everyone there. People were moving around the little camp with purpose, getting settled, and Vince and Kodiak went about starting a fire and hunting for some food. Howard looked around wondering what he ought to do. Then gave up and collapsed down next to where Tommy was sorting supplies and closed his eyes. It felt like he might have been awake for several years rather than just a normal day.

“You did well today, Moon,” Tommy said softly. “You saved many lives.”

Howard opened an eye but wasn’t sure what to say. “It was Vince,” he said eventually. He didn’t know how to put into words what he meant exactly, but he knew for sure none of what had happened that day would have been possible without him. Not wanting to let him down seemed to be Howard’s main reason for doing most things lately.

But instead of questioning him, Tommy just nodded solemnly. “Love is powerful that way.”

Howard closed his eyes and didn’t answer. He wasn’t about to discuss his and Vince’s business with anyone, but he also didn’t feel right denying it.

He didn’t realise he was about to fall asleep but Vince was abruptly shaking him awake. “I got you some food,” he whispered, looming over Howard.

“Thanks,” he said, blinking and feeling a bit embarrassed that he’d fallen asleep while there was still work to do. “You got a fire going?”

Vince nodded. “There isn’t much food to go around, but hopefully people will be moving back to the town in a couple of days. I can scout back tomorrow morning to see what’s happening.”

“I’ll come with you,” Howard said automatically.

“Course,” Vince said like it was obvious. “Now come eat.”

They sat near the fire at the edge of the cave. The small group of refugees were sat around chatting. They seemed surprisingly upbeat for a group of people that might not have homes to return to. But he supposed being alive, warm and fed counted for a lot out here. Kodiak was sat close to Eleanor, looking for all the world smitten and pleased to be allowed so close to her.

“That’s a strange pairing,” he said, nodding in their direction.

Vince shrugged. “She’d keep him in line, that’s for sure. Maybe she can make him into a sort of good man.”

Howard made a face as his mind started and then abruptly refused to consider the thought any further. “I guess that means he won’t be coming with us when we leave.”

“Thank God,” Vince said with feeling. They ate their small amount of rabbit and bread in silence, staring at the fire before Vince spoke. “I’m glad you ain’t dead, Howard.”

“Thanks Vince,” he replied, grinning. “Not yet at least. It’s going to be a long winter. We’re going to have to be careful and keep our wits about us, if we want to keep it that way.”

“When the bears are awake,” Vince said softly, looking around to check they weren’t being overheard, “they can help us find food and shelter.”

“If they don’t kill us,” Howard pointed out.

Vince giggled, his hand coming up to cover is mouth. “I reckon it’d just be you, if they were gonna kill anyone.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Howard asked, carefully moulding his tone to sound hurt and not amused like he felt.

“You just got one of them faces,” Vince said, his grin lit by the fire, making his eyes sparkle with mischief.

“One of them faces?” Howard wrapped an arm around the other man and tugged him closer.

“Yeah, one of them generic faces. Bears hate people that don’t have interesting faces. Yours is basically a balloon.” Vince gestured as he spoke and Howard watched his hands, fascinated.

“Generic? How dare you? Mine is one of the classic faces.”

“Classic faces?”

“People sculpt faces like this,” he said it seriously but wondered if he ought to be growing some facial hair. Perhaps a moustache would give him more of a distinguished look.

“Sculpt them? You mean like on churches to make the rain run off easier?” Vince grinned again, pleased at his own joke.

“Very funny, little man,” he said. “There’s such a thing as having too much going on in a face you know.”

“Yeah,” Vince said, obviously done with the teasing for the moment. “I reckon your face is probably alright.”

“Oh, why thank you.” He ran his hand over the other man’s back.

“I love you, Howard,” Vince sighed, tucking his head into Howard’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around him tightly. “I’m glad you came to our town.”

Howard smiled. “I love you too, Vince.” The words seemed simple, easy in his chest and they warmed him as much as the fire that crackled merrily at his feet. “I’m glad too.”

They held each other and stared into the fire. Howard wondered about the journey ahead of them and the adventures they’d have on the way. He found he was excited. For perhaps the first time in his life, Howard Moon was looking forward to the morning. There was a lot to do. But he was sure that they would figure it out. Together. He dropped a kiss on Vince’s head and smiled. It was going to be a good winter. He’d make sure of it.

THE END

 

 


End file.
